How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Quotes
Lily [trying to paint Barney with a sword in his hand]: I don't think your sword will fit.
Barney: I get that a lot.
In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True storyBarney
Robin: You know what? You gave it away too early. You're an "I love you" slut.
Ted: Yeah, well you're an "I love you" prude. You know what? I'm taking mine back.
Robin : You can't do that!
Ted : Just did. In fact, I'm giving it away, because I'm a slut.
Ted [to a stranger]: Hey, I love you.
Stranger : Thanks, man! I came in here to jump. I really needed that.
Robin: I can't believe my baby sister is planning to lose her virginity to a douche with a faux-hawk. This can't happen, you guys have help me talk her out of it.
Marshall: A speech to talk a girl out of sex...
Ted: ...yeah I don't have any of those.
Barney: Discouraging premarital sex is against my religion.
Robin: Please I'm her older sister I'm supposed to teach her how to make good and responsible decisions
Lily: It's 2 o'clock and you've already had three Scotch and Sodas.
Robin: That's why I need your help!
Robin: I've never been to the Empire State Building before, but I'm glad I waited.
Lily: I haven't been to the Empire State Building either, but I'm glad I get to go with my fiancÃ©e.
Marshall: And I signed an abstinence pledge in high school, and it's totally cool. Also, stay away from drugs... except pot.
Christmas is a time when people are lonely and desperate, it's the most wonderful time of the yearBarney
When you walk through the door, does it feel like you are being slapped in the face by Christmas?Marshall
Barney: This is a low moment for the Barnacle. I should be off playing laser-tag right now but instead ... don't look at me, I'm hideous.
Robin: You just look like a regular guy.
Barney: Exactly, I'm a Ted! I'm wearing elastic waist fleece pants
Oh Robin, my simple friend from the untamed north. Let me tell you about a little thing I like to call 'mind over body' ... You see, whenever I start feeling sick, I just stop being sick and be awesome instead. True storyBarney
Robin: Barney! What the hell are you doing? Get in here, it's freezing outside. Are you insane?
Barney: Blame Lily and her oppressive no-cigars-in-the-appartment-rule. God, it's like Marshall is marrying the Taliban.
[Barney sneezes on his hand]
Robin: Ewww, no. Look, you have to go home and get to bed
I'm fine. My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it outBarney [after blowing his nose]
[after Ted tells Barney what he called Lily]
Barney: Ted Vivian Mosby!
Ted: That's not my middle name..
Barney: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Ted: Like you've never said that word?
Barney: I don't kiss your mother with my mouth, yet...