How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Robin: I'm so sorry, you must think I'm totally disgusting.
Marshall: I totally do.

Barney: Told yah, The Mermaid Theory, it's a thing. You owe me five hundred bucks.
Marshall: Did we bet on this?
Barney: Let's say yes.

Mark my words, Marshall, someday you will find Iris so excruciatingly attractive you won't be able to look her directly in the boobs.

Barney

Robin: Right, Marsh Madness?
Marshall: No doubt, Robo Cop.
Lily: You two never hang out alone. You just made up those names right now.

Marshall: Did you catch the game last night?
Robin: Yeah, nail biter.

Lily: And the most important rule of all...
Barney: Lubricant is public property.

Lily: Anytime a single guy hangs out with a married woman there are rules that must be followed. Rule number one...
Barney: Don't use the husband's condoms, that's just rude.

Robin: Hey Captain, quick question. What do you think about the Jonas Brothers?
Marshall [covering the right half of the Captain's face]: He hates that he loves them.

I think the smaller turkey just tried to crawl further inside the bigger turkey.

Robin

You sent a wang out and got a wang back.

Robin

Zoey: Barney was here? I was walking around half naked.
Barney: Aw Man! Wait which half?

Barney: You're all the Blitz! I slept with that cute Indian girl that cuts my hair.
Robin: What does that have to do with anything?
Barney: Nothing I just forgot to brag about it before!

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 256 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Quotes

Robin: Ted, the future is scary. But you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar. Yes, it's tempting...
Barney: But it's a mistake.

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted