Robin: I'm so sorry, you must think I'm totally disgusting.
Marshall: I totally do.

Barney: Told yah, The Mermaid Theory, it's a thing. You owe me five hundred bucks.
Marshall: Did we bet on this?
Barney: Let's say yes.

Mark my words, Marshall, someday you will find Iris so excruciatingly attractive you won't be able to look her directly in the boobs.

Barney

Robin: Right, Marsh Madness?
Marshall: No doubt, Robo Cop.
Lily: You two never hang out alone. You just made up those names right now.

Marshall: Did you catch the game last night?
Robin: Yeah, nail biter.

Lily: And the most important rule of all...
Barney: Lubricant is public property.

Lily: Anytime a single guy hangs out with a married woman there are rules that must be followed. Rule number one...
Barney: Don't use the husband's condoms, that's just rude.

Robin: Hey Captain, quick question. What do you think about the Jonas Brothers?
Marshall [covering the right half of the Captain's face]: He hates that he loves them.

I think the smaller turkey just tried to crawl further inside the bigger turkey.

Robin

You sent a wang out and got a wang back.

Robin

Zoey: Barney was here? I was walking around half naked.
Barney: Aw Man! Wait which half?

Barney: You're all the Blitz! I slept with that cute Indian girl that cuts my hair.
Robin: What does that have to do with anything?
Barney: Nothing I just forgot to brag about it before!

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Quotes

Robin: Ted, the future is scary. But you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar. Yes, it's tempting...
Barney: But it's a mistake.

He has got to go, you need to be like you are the weakest link goodbye! Punchy, the tribe has spoken. Please pack up your knives and go. Your work of art, didn't work for me. You're times up. I have to ask you to leave the mansion. You must leave the chateau. Your tour ends here. You've been chopped! You've been evicted from the Big Brother house. Your desert just didn't measure up. Sashay away! Give me your jacket and leave Hell's kitchen! You did not get a rose. You have been eliminated from the race. You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model. You're fired. Auf Wiedersehen.

Barney