How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Quotes
Indiana Jones wouldn't look at this body. This is a body that would melt a Nazi's face.
Ted
Lily: When you said you were about to get reamed?
Marshall: Oh right that. No, sometimes for fun, we throw reams of paper at each other. Bernard! Not a good time! Read the room!
Robin: Marshall it doesn't matter. Cause you'd lose anyway and you know why? Cause I'm Sparkles bitch!
Marshall: Oh and you think you can to me? You think you could step up to the streets? To me? You think you could step up, over me, to the streets?
You're killing me Lily! You're killing me! You have to let me dance my own battles!
Marshall
Hey Ted, what's this I hear slash remember about you not wanting to see Robots vs. Wrestlers?
20 Years From Now Barney
Um a little thing called rigor mortis?
Barney
Ah Ted, your first day at the salon and you want to do a cut and color?
Barney
Barney: Ted what is my one rule?
Ted: You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Flax seed relieves upset stomach?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket in case Lily invites you to something stupid?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Labanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there.
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: New is always better?
Barney: New is always better!
Crazy stories are my thing! You have architecture, Marshall has the law, Lily has art, Robin has pleasing me sexually. You all have a passion that drives you. Well if I have a passion it's taking life and turning it into a series of crazy stories. If you can do that without me, then I don't even know who I am anymore.
Barney
Robin: He's looking for Lily. Should I give him her number?
Marshall: Yeah we've already discussed it. It's four million dollars cash.
Ted: Oh boy that was a crazy story.
Barney: Oh boy, yeah I remember.
Ted: You weren't there.
Barney: Ted, bubala, if you have a crazy story, I was there. It's just the law of the universe.
Ted: That's weird, I have a message.
Marshall: That's weird, you still have an answering machine.
