I asked Pauly, Pauly you drinking tonight, and he's like I'm probably gonna take it easy... that's what you think.

Ronnie

[to Deena] Let's have bunny sex!!

Snooki

If we need freaking bunny suits to bring life to this house, that's when we know we have problems.

Snooki

I'm gonna show off my tat. Don't mess with me in here Party Lane.

Snooki

Jenni: What's a good name for Danny since he's being a douche?
Mike: Help wanted, see the old dude.
Jenny: They might think it's you.

If I rip down the help wanted sign, there will be no more interviews, and therefore, there will be no more possibilities of getting new roommates.

JWOWW

Danny: This guy shows up out of uniform and late.
Mike: But I still look good though.

I'm gonna try not to be late to work but the time on my watch already tells me I'm gonna be late to work, after Danny already bitched us out for not working hard.

Ronnie

Dude, you're not directing porn.

JWOWW

Four over the hill and six boobs.

JWOWW

Deena: Meatball power!
Snooki: Meatball power!

Snooki: Pauly, can you teach me how to walk hard, like gangster.
Pauly D: Can't teach swag, you was born widdit.

Jersey Shore Quotes

The Situation: Shut your mouth you dirty little hamster.
Angelina: You look like Popeye on crack.
The Situation: You look like a ho.
Angelina: You're a dirtbag and your penis should fall off.

Pauly D: Yo, if she still has coloring books ... she's too young for you, man.
Vinny: If she's got a basket on her bicycle ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If she still has the parental controls on her TV ... she's too young for you bro.
Vinny: If she only owns Snow White on DVD ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If his Keds still light up ... he's too young for you bro.
Ronnie: [laughs]
Pauly D: If she still plays laser tag ... she's too young for you bro.
JWoww: That's me.