Pretty much my master plan today is gym, tan, who's the rat?

Mike "The Situation"

Mike "The Situation": Well you need to ask somebody. Don't listen to the f-cking peanut gallery, ask people first, 'cause I didn't make no f-cking phone call!
Sammi: Why are you going around saying sh-t?
Mike: Why are you talking sh-t? Stay out of it, let her ask first!

Mike's dodging everything like the matrix. She's throwing wine bottles at him, he's ducking them, he's moving all around. He's running from her.

Pauly D

I don't know what's going on here because Nicole is all about Jionni, and Deena, are you lesbian?

Sammi

Snooki: This whole time I'm depressed because of you. And I'm not being myself.
Jionni: So why are you with me?
Snooki: I don't know, I'm asking myself that question right now.
Jionni: What do you mean you're not being yourself. You're drunk seven days a week, you're hooking up with girls and you're dancing in your underwear, that's not you?

Vinnie's in purple pants. And I don't know how I feel about it.

Sammi

Snooki: He sounded like he was at a freakin' bar.
JWOWW: Stop, don't say things like that, it's Sam.
Sammi: Stop, that's not me anymore. Tell her she's being the old me.
JWOWW: OK Sam, let's go get Ron.

You wanna hear the story? So I flew my boyfriend out here to be with me, and he f-cking left me. I'm miserable right now, so I came here to drink, and that's what I'm doing. So don't look at me like I'm a weirdo, I'm f-cking heartbroken. So let me dance.

Snooki

Como si dice, "where the f-ck is my boyfriend?"

Snooki
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