Dwight: Where did you go?
Whitehead: I went down to the armory to swap my gun, obviously it was off.
Dwight: Obviously.

A parent fearing for their child, you go find her Dwight.

Lt. Rice

This is all I need, something else that doesn't work.

Whitehead [about the smartphone]

White [about his notebooks]: Have you thought about football or bird watching?
Grant: Yeah, maybe when you solve these cases I can move on to bird watching.

If you're looking for some kind of merit badge, you've got the wrong Boy Scout.

Dwight

Dwight: You know what, I've let the Joker death smile go on long enough, wanna tell me whatís going on?
White: I'm glad you asked. I'm rebranding myself.
Dwight: Wanna give that to me again?
White: Read a magazine article and in order to be the best Whitehead I can be starts with a smile.
Dwight: Long as I've known you you've never read a magazine that didn't have a hot girl or a car on the front.
White: This is the new me, and the new me sees the glass half full.
Dwight: The way I see it that glass is half full of bourbon.

I don't care if it's the foxmeadows gang or the resurrection of Jesse James, we're going to get 'em this time.

Dwight

White: It's a simile, son, a simile.
Sutton: Actually, Whitehead, it would be a metaphor. A simile is something like your tie is a crime against humanity
White: What's wrong with my tie?
Sutton: Oh, no, I didn't mean it actually was.

Dwight [referring to Whitehead's facial]: Is that why you've got that?
White: A smile? You ought to try it sometime Dwight.

White: That's exactly what this is, ought to give it a try.
Dwight: A facial? No thank you. I'll just keep mocking you for a while.

Now theyíre gonna fire their riffles three times, okay? Let everyone know you dad was a hero.

Dwight [to Jack Eckler]

Claire: Why isn't it on a map?
Dwight: It's not a GPS place, it's a Memphis kinda place... let me get my pants.

Memphis Beat Quotes

See, there's that attitude again. You don't belong in my department. If that means getting you promoted to do that, that's what I'm gonna do.

Lt. Rice [To Det. White]

Splitting Dwight and I up is about as stupid as a three-legged mule in a horse race.

Det. White