I know what goes on between pilots and students. I've seen more than my fair share of pornography.

Vince

Molly: I'm starting to think that flying for our honeymoon is spooking you.
Mike: What are you talking about? I'm a Chicago police officer. We're known far and wide as being unspookable.
Molly: Where are you going?
Mike: To lie down, I'm feeling a little queasy.

Life is full of mystery. Just think, if I was a monkey and you were a bowl of coleslaw, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Victoria

Victoria: Well, everybody dies. I just want to make sure they're ready for whatever is waiting for them.
Mike: Might as well hedge your bets. If there is an afterlife, you don't want to be the ugly one.

I'm gonna add a little blush, Mr. Whitmore. Just because you're stone cold dead doesn't mean you can't be stone cold hot.

Victoria

I'm going to jail? I'm too young and too pretty! Those butch chicks will be on me like ants on a peach!

Victoria

Peggy: You invited your dead beat dad and his whore to our wedding?
Mike: Well, it's still up in the air with the whore.
Molly: Our wedding?!

Mike [to Carl]: I'm gonna order lunch. Can I get you anything?
Christina: Get him a spine, in case he was born without one.

I feel kinda sexy. These silk pajamas are like butterfly kisses all over my body.

Christina: Are you crying?
Carl: I can't help it. I'm a sucker for 70's soul!

Molly: We've got the house all to ourselves. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Mike: Order pizza and make prank phone calls?
Molly: Yeah, baby!

I always go to Lethal Weapon. I'm Danny Glover and you're Mel Gibson with a thyroid problem.

Carl [to Mike]

Mike & Molly Quotes

Molly: We've got the house all to ourselves. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Mike: Order pizza and make prank phone calls?
Molly: Yeah, baby!

I always go to Lethal Weapon. I'm Danny Glover and you're Mel Gibson with a thyroid problem.

Carl [to Mike]