Yep, gonna lose a toenail. There goes sandal season!

Phil

• Permalink: Yep, gonna lose a toenail. There goes sandal season!
• Rating: Unrated

Haley: How do you still not know you're a babe?
Alex: Well, you did call me a frumpy nerd for twenty years.

• Permalink: Well, you did call me a frumpy nerd for twenty years.
• Rating: Unrated

I shouldn't be penalized for being too smart, I'm not running for president.

Alex

• Permalink: I shouldn't be penalized for being too smart, I'm not running for president.
• Rating: Unrated

I'll reinvent myself. I'm gonna dye my hair blue and carry around an emotional support pig.

Lily

• Permalink: I'll reinvent myself. I'm gonna dye my hair blue and carry around an emotional support pig.
• Rating: Unrated

Cam: I want you to read this, but not until after I leave.
Gloria: It's going to make me cry isn't it, you beautiful cornfed son-of-a-bitch.

• Permalink: It's going to make me cry isn't it, you beautiful cornfed son-of-a-bitch.
• Rating: Unrated

Cam: Don't hate me for your son leaving.
Jay: You're both my sons.

• Permalink: You're both my sons.
• Rating: Unrated

Haley: Thanks for putting in a good word for us.
Mitch: They just needed some reassurance, considering most of Dylan's money is tied up in Dave and Busters' gift cards.

• Permalink: They just needed some reassurance, considering most of Dylan's money is tied up in Dave and...
• Rating: Unrated

I can't go to jail. I'm a gay prosecutor, there's no prison gangs for that!

Mitch

• Permalink: I can't go to jail. I'm a gay prosecutor, there's no prison gangs for that!
• Rating: Unrated

We make a good team.

Claire

• Permalink: We make a good team.
• Rating: Unrated

You guys know you can call me anytime, right?

Haley

• Permalink: You guys know you can call me anytime, right?
• Rating: Unrated

Mom, I'm the lucky one.

Manny

• Permalink: Mom, I'm the lucky one.
• Rating: Unrated