Jay: I didn't mean for her to get hurt.
Gloria: Not her, he when he realizes not every second wife looks like this.

Cam: Oh my God! It feels like we have one mind and one heart.
Mitchell: And one chair.

Don't get me wrong the Dunphys have some great days, we just have some trouble stringing them all together.

Claire

Mitchell: There is no easy way to ask this, but are you all high?
Claire: No Mitchell, we're happy.

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.

Gloria

Luke: Move!
Haley: You have plenty of room!
Luke: No, move out. You're 40!

That's the fourth Hawaiian shirt he's lost. I'm telling you this is a Dateline story waiting to happen!

Jay

Cam: Hey counselor, what do I have to do to get you to drop that suit?
Mitchell: Cam what are you doing here?
Cam: Surprising my hugs-band!

A lot of people assumed that I married you for your money and that’s only a very, very small part of it. I married you because you’re sexy. You still are. Who knows how long that’s going to last for either of us?

Gloria

You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.

Phil

Claire: Check this out, a reflecting pond.
Alex: Great maybe you can see how crazy you’re being right now.

I think I could be a little less Ryan Gosling, and a little more everyman.

Cam

Modern Family Quotes

You could pretend to get sick at the table. You know cough, stomachache, dealer's choice, I don't care just sell it.

Mitchell

Thank you Uncle Manny!

Haley