Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Quotes
I know I got a lot of baggage, but don't worry, I'm seeing a therapist. Just kidding. I'm fine.
Phil
Jay: Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven and landed on earth.
Gloria: I didn't... oh, because I'm an angel!
Cameron's moment went on for a really, really long time. Turns out I could've run to the party and made it back for the end of his moment.
Mitchell
Dude, you should label those sticks.
Dylan's band mate
I was gonna tell Claire about the dog. I was just waiting until she was in the right mood. Actually, I did get one right mood a couple nights ago... but I cashed that in for something else.
Phil
Phil: How did Scout get your bra?
Claire: Well, we were out on a date, and he has a really nice car, so — how do you think? He got it from the laundry basket.
Jay: It's just the doorbell.
Manny: Maybe a demon is ringing it!
Cameron: Did you hear that woman screaming my name?
Mitchell: That was Phil. He had a Red Bull.
Jay: What's up with the big sweater at a concert? Some sort of gay thing?
Mitchell: No, it's from this apres-ski party and... yes, it's some sort of gay thing.
Dylan: I don't think we'd like the same music.
Cam: Because I'm gay and only like show tunes?
Dylan: Because you're old.
Cam: Well, that hurt more, Dylan.
Phil: We're like two peas in a pod, or Siamese twins, a snake with two heads!
Claire: They've actually been all those things for Halloween.
Jay: You want scary? When I was his age I lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis. I slept with a butter knife under my pillow in case I had to fight some Soviet colonel.
Gloria: Why?
Jay: Because I could identify all the Commi planes.
Gloria: What are we talking about?!?
