Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Quotes
I'm gonna introduce him to the Captain... and Tenille.
Phil [on his fists]
Manny: Any suggestions?
Jay: I usually go with earrings
I can't pressure Mitchell. But I really, really, really just want him to get a job so I can go back to being a stay-at-home dad/trophy wife.
Cameron
It's Cameron's turn to be out in the world interacting with other grown-ups while I get to stay at home and plot the death of Dora the Explorer.
Mitchell
Let's show these guys what kind of team they're about to beat.
Phil
Luke: Manny and I are going to practice lay-ups.
Manny: They are deceptively hard. A curious mix of dance and strength.
Luke: You're ruining it again.
One day I'm gonna be a grandfather and then everybody better hide their meat.
Phil
Who's ready for the first day of the rest of their lives?
Phil [upon getting an iPad]
Do I have time for a steam?
Manny
Gloria [at chess]: Look at this, papi!
Jay: Easy, you can't sing "We Are The Champions" without your Queen.
Claire: They're getting more in next week.
Phil: Next week? That's like the worst thing you can say to an early adopter.
You said that everything you needed to learn you'd learn from Westside Story.
Jay
