Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Dad I was with you on the tight rope, I was your wingman at the wing eating competition, but I’m not feeling this one. You’re missing Christmas Eve.

Luke

Just when I’m so close to the Canadian border I can smell the bacon and reasonably priced medications.

Phil

Jay: Trees are like women, the best ones make you work just a little bit harder.
Manny: She’s just not that into you.

You know what they say, houseguests start to stink after 3 days like dead bodies.

Gloria

When I wake up in my own room tomorrow I’ll be giving thanks for my independence and isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

Haley

This body doesn’t just happen ladies.

Phil

As a my favorite redhead once sang, “the sun will come out tomorrow.” That redhead of course was Mitchell, introducing me to the plucky orphan Annie. Whose never say die attitude pulled this country out of a little thing called The Great Depression. And anything a little girl can do, I can try to do too.

Phil

Two things I bring to every open house, my lucky pen and a smile. I haven’t sold a house all month. Do you see me saying “I’m done”? Never. Because there is no “done” in Dunphy.

Phil

Claire: So I finally get out of the closet and there’s dad looking down on me.
Mitchell: Been there.

Now I don’t get what tuna net you dolphins swam into but you guys are drowning out there!

Cam

I’ve got six kinds of pills in my pocket but all this right here, this is the best medicine.

Charlie

Haley: You’re like that guy from the movie who wishes he was never born.
Alex: It’s a Wonderful Life.
Haley: You say that but do you mean it?

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 1229 in total

Modern Family Quotes

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.

Gloria

You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.

Phil
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