Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

There’s a caste system at school. Academic teachers at the top, gym teachers at the bottom. It’s offensive and disrespectful, they treat us like we’re lunch ladies.

Cam

My other daddy says your yard looks like a litter box.

Lily

She’s like a self-cleaning oven.

Phil [about Alex]

I'm fine, he's only one. I watched him pee into his own face and smile.

Jay

Okay that's a lot of mirror looking and that's me saying that.

Haley

I'm not having a wedding slash Hunger Games themed sweet sixteen part- oh you're tapping your fingers. You really do have a plan.

Mitchell

Cam: Poker face, poker face.
Mitchell: Ok, now work on your poker voice.

Luke: It's called growing up and having your own interests. Like the minister's daughter in your precious Footloose.
Phil: Wow, using my own movie against me. Let's hear it for the boy.

For someone whose favorite words at the movies are "what did he say?" you overhear pretty good.

Gloria [to Jay]

Phil: Remember the great Kevin Bacon on footloose?
Luke: More like Foot-loser.

Driving with Alex is torture. She drives so slowly, I have to be the only parent who slams on the imaginary gas.

Claire

He keeps resisting but it's in his blood. I come from a long line of dancing Dunphys. A kickline actually.

Phil
Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 1244 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

Just coffee for me today. Black. Like I feel on the inside.

Manny
× Close Ad