Wow, well, he's a few crayons short of a full box.

Deeks

Callen: How do you even sleep at night?
Dallas: So you are a cop?
Callen: Even worse, a federal agent.
Dallas: You know, that's really brave of you to admit that.
Callen: Not really, 'cause now, he's gonna shoot you.

No one ever pushed me. People push you when they care.

Callen

Callen: No, Hetty saved me. Everything I am today is because of her.
Sam: Well, you should tell her.

I've been watching you, you have great potential. And I have plans for you, Mr. Callen.

Hetty

You're picturing my brain just now aren't you?

Nell

Some people actually take the chain of command seriously.

Hanna

Arkady may have been Callen's last chance of finding out who his father was and where he came from.

Hetty

Deeks: This is supposed to be you and I against -
Kip: Yeah, that was before you accused your best friend of murder.

Why is your team so hellbent on finding the drama in everything?!

Granger

What is a celebrity photographer doing at the home of a CIA officer?

Callen

Hanna: You'll be working for that kid one day.
Callen: Yeah, next week!