You know, I don't like to talk either. You talk too much people end up thinking they heard things you never said.

Gibbs

Gibbs: I had a daughter. She used to to sit right there at the table where you were. She took my pocket knife from me once. Knife wasn't a toy and she knew that. She climbed up here. And she took that knife and she carved her initials right in the back of that cabinet there. And lost the best pocket knife that I ever had.
Luke: What'd you do?
Gibbs: I scolded her. Grounded her. Then I forgave her.
Luke: I'm nothing. I'm nothing! Everyone hates me! Just kill me! That's what they want! That's what I want!

Vance: Blackmail Bayar to help us, DIA is none the wiser. That's the plan?
Gibbs: Yeah. You got a better one, Leon?
Vance: Word of advice, don't get caught.

Tony: Gibbs is tied up.
Bayar: What do you think?
Tony: What do you mean what does she think? Gibbs is tied up, he sent us.
Bayar: I heard you, but I didn't like your answer.
Tony: You don't like my answer or you don't like me?
Bayar: Neither.
Bishop: Gibbs really is tied up. He sends his apologies.
Bayar: You see? She dips it in sugar and all of a sudden it tastes so sweet.
Bishop: Mr. Bayar...
Bayar: Please. Call me Agah.
Bishop: Agah. We'd like to discuss your mother.

Bayar: I'll help you, but your efforts are wasted. I would have helped you without payment or without blackmail.
Bishop: Why?
Bayar: Women and children first. It's an absolute we can always agree upon.

When babies are used in the wars of men, may God help us all.

Bayar

Gibbs: Did you write that?
Luke: Yes!
Gibbs: You want to finish it before I show it to them?
Luke: Who?
Gibbs: Your parents. What's wrong? It's for them, isn't it? You did everything you're supposed to. Disowned everyone who isn't the calling? It's what Samar wants, right?
Luke: Please don't show it to them.
Gibbs: Oh no, it's already been decided.
Luke: Don't....DON'T!
Gibbs: Hey! You said you wanted to die. What would your parents think if they heard that? You broke their hearts.
Luke: The kids at school hate me. They kept telling me to go back to Iraq. I don't know what to do anymore.
Gibbs: You talk to me. Where is Samar?
Luke: If I tell you what I know, will you take me to see my parents?
Gibbs: Yeah.

Rousseau: You ask about the United States. You ask the wrong questions.
McGee: Then why don't you set me straight.
Rousseau: When you plan a big party, there are many details to discuss over many lines. It is impossible to keep them secret. You left the party to be with me today, no? I'm sorry you're missing our contribution to the fun.
McGee: Guard! I need a phone!

If it isn't Jake the snake, who takes the cake, never wakes and bakes and.....I haven't had my coffee yet.

Tony

Berk: Got any daughters, Director Vance?
Vance: I do. I have one.
Berk: I have three. If any one of them grows up to be like Ensign Wilt, I'll be one proud papa. Just a special kid, in every way.
Vance: A kid with a very heady position at ONI, Captain.
Berk: She earned it. Smart, squared away. Had a knack for computer analysis and code-breaking like I've never see

Gibbs: What are those?
Palmer: Neck tissue samples. If any residue was left behind it may help in identifying the weapon. I was just about to take it over to Abby.
Gibbs: And still you are here? [Palmer rushes to leave] Palmer. Thank you.

Tony: Well hey there Alfredo. Looks like you traded in your prison jumpsuit, huh?
Bishop: NCIS! Don't move!
Alfredo: Go ahead. Kill me. Get it over with!
Bishop: Why would we do that?
Tony: Alfredo. We're NCIS.
Alfredo: So, like feds can't be bought?
Tony: That's not really our style.
Alfredo: You're not going to kill me?

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.