NCIS

Tuesdays 8:00 PM on CBS
Ncis
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Rachel: What's wrong Agent Gibbs?
Gibbs: You haven't been honest with me.
Rachel: What do you mean?
Gibbs: (shows her the gun) I went back by your house. I did a little digging under your fort.
Rachel: I didn't have time to bury it deeper. I needed to get back before Mr. Curtis realized I snuck out.
Gibbs: Then what happened?
Rachel: Don't look at me like that.
Gibbs: I want to help you. I can't help you if you don't let me.
Rachel: That's exactly what my mother said. That she wanted to help me. She was going to send me to a special hospital in Montana for treatment. I don't need help. I hate that word. And I hated her.
Gibbs: Yeah but you don't hate your dad though do you?
Rachel: No. Dad didn't see what she did. Things were always better when he was around.
Gibbs: That's why you injured yourself? So he'd come back?
Rachel: Sometimes it worked. But he'd never stay as long as I wanted.
Gibbs: Unless your mom was gone. Then he couldn't leave you.
Rachel: It's her own fault. All she ever did was make me feel broken. Getting rid of her was the best solution. Daddy didn't understand either when I told him what I did. He'll come around eventually. I'm a sweet little girl. Can I have another juice?

Bishop: It's just....I did everything right. I mean, I was textbook. How can I fail?
McGee: Everybody fails. It's the Kobayashi Maru.

Meyer: I'm sorry, I feel like we're not on the same page. What's this about?
Gibbs: Joe Willis - he's your security officer?
Meyer: He in some kind of trouble?
Gibbs: Yeah, you could say that.
Meyer: Holy crap.
Borin: We on the same page now?

Gibbs: You and me need to talk. Alone. Hey - it's not a request. Petty Officer remove this man from the radio room. This radio's been sabotaged.
Meyer: Holy--
Gibbs: Stop.
Meyer: I have no--
Gibbs: Don't. Busted radio. Dead security officer. Wounded captain and him.
Meyer: Reynaldo? He--
Gibbs: He's wearing canvas shoes, not steel-toed boots. Who is he? Because he is not part of your crew.

Tony: Now look. Gibbs isn't there, me neither. Listen, McGee - you're the boss now.
McGee: Me? Whoa, whoa. Tony....
Tony: Don't mess it up.

Abby: Gosh I just got chills.
McGee: Why is that?
Abby: You're just changing, right in front of our eyes. Your gruff manner, your clipped replies. You're no longer McGee. You're McGibbs.
McGee: What? That's....wait, what?
Bishop: It's true. Ever since Tony put you in charge, you're like...channeling him.
McGee: Stop it.
Abby: You got it. Boss.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

Bishop: You don't have the change the subject. I'm not the sex police.
Tony: Kind of you are.
Bishop: Um, hello? I'm married. I have more sex than the two of you combined.
Tony: From what I hear that's not how that works.

McGee: Your lab is working on laser technology?
Bishop: Next big stick in naval warfare.
Dr. Havana: These lasers aren't weaponized.
McGee: Data transfer?
Dr. Havana: Yes. Very good.
McGee: I read somewhere that NASA is sending data to the moon at 662 megabits per second. Word is that by using each color on the spectrum that transfer speed could be multiplied. John Hopkins. MIT
Bishop: Humble brag, much?

SecNav: How do you do it? It's like pigs at the trough.
Gibbs: In some places it really is a trough.

Pavlenko: Agent Gibbs. I was relieved to learn of your safe return after the helicopter accident.
Gibbs: It was no accident. It was a missile.

SecNav: Director Vance, Special Agent Gibbs and DiNozzo, I'd like you to meet FBI Special Agent Pendergast. She will be your partner for the duration of this case.
Pendergast: Pleased to meet you.
Tony: Ah. Okay.

  • Permalink:
  • Added:
Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 720 in total

NCIS Quotes

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.