We do not guess, Timothy. Nor do we assume, presume, guess-ture or prognosticate.

Ducky

Salim: [re: truth serum] It will not take long for it to start working.
Tony: You're gonna be dead soon, you know.

Salim: You will tell me everything. Who you are, how you came to be here. Everything.
Tony: I'm not gonna tell you anything.

Our team leader is the fearless special agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Former gunnery Sergeant, marine sniper, coffee aficionado, and functional mute.

Tony

Salim: So what are you doing here?
Tony: There's only one force on Earth that can short circuit a man's better instincts, put fire in his veins and make him dive head-long into danger without regard for his well being. Vengeance. I'm here to kill you.

Salim: DiNozzo. It's an Italian name.
Tony: An educated man.
Salim: I got my B.S. from Yale University.
Tony: [scoffs] I got my B.S. in the streets ... You guys got a lousy football team.

McGee: Gives a whole new meaning to fried hard-drive, huh?
(McGee chuckles, Abby stares at him)
Abby: How many times have you told that joke today?
McGee: None! (Abby gives him a look) Maybe once or twice.
Abby: Newsflash McGee, now is not the time for haha's, ok?
McGee: Sorry.

Gibbs: Yeah, Gibbs.
McGee: Hey boss, how's Tel Aviv?
Abby: Forget Tel Aviv, how's Tony? How's Ziva? Are they talking yet?
Gibbs: They're fine Abby.
Abby: I take that as a no. So how's Israel?

Ziva: Dead man is ICE.
Tony: That's cold.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the amazing Dr Donald 'Ducky' Mallard. The first and only M.E. under the big top.

Tony

Tony: Looks like someone dropped a cocktail weenie.
Ducky: I have a riddle for you; What is not food, but tastes very well. I'll give you a hint. And you should come up with an answer before Officer David, since it's right on the...
Tony: Tip of your tongue.

Ziva: He did not get out this way.
Yates: Not unless he could cross a lawn without bending a blade of grass.
Ziva: Well not impossible, with the proper training.