If Tony is right about the wife, I will never live it down!


Man up, Marine!


Tony: You seem to be attracted to men who have a hard time staying alive.
Sarah: I'm attracted to men with honor. Dignity. Who serve their country.

Tony: Probies, talk louder, I can hear you in there.
Ziva: McGee has been at NCIS for six years. I have been here four. We ARE agents, so can you PLEASE stop calling us ...
Gibbs: Problem, Probie?

Gibbs: No costume this year?
Abby: After last year's Jonas Brothers debacle, Vance banned costumes. McGee? Skinny jeans? Didn't work.

Ducky: Interesting date for such a ghoulish demise.
Palmer: Yeah, it's a really cool way to go! [silence] Cool, as in the temperature. Liquid nitrogen. Forget it.

Ducky: Aren't you on the wrong side, of the glass? Oh, look at her, look at the state she's in! I would have thought you would have wanted to be in there yourself, instead of letting Vance interrogate her.
Gibbs: Don't you have some bodies to attend to, Duck?
Ducky: The evidence from the Damocles is being unloaded as we speak. Isn't this punishing her? I mean, you aren't concerned that she might lie to you?
Gibbs: It's tough love.
Ducky: You do know that there are other kinds?

Tony: What's with the sushi bar?
Ducky: Staff Sargeant Cryer's body was not alone on its considerable time adrift.
Tony: Yum.
Ducky: That's probably what they said when they were feeding on his flesh.

Tony: Why do you find it so hard to believe that I could hack that sucker out?
Ziva: You cannot even work your email properly! You always reply to "ALL" - it drives me absolutely nuts! You know, when it comes to computers, you are almost as incompetent as Gibbs... (She freezes)
Tony: Ha! You thought Gibbs was behind you! You know why? Because sneaky people expect sneakiness - it's a vicious circle.

Tony: It's like Alien. The Ridley Scott classic, the creepy one.
McGee: As opposed to the non-creepy ones?

Vance (on the phone): I'm not happy about it either, Eli. Gibbs is an awful son-of-a-bitch - you might think he's a thorn in your side, but he's a pain in my ass!
Eli David: He is a thief for stealing my daughter!
Vance: I know you're upset, I know she's your daughter. I will continue to deal with it. You have to believe - I am your ally, here.
Eli David: Show me!
Vance: I will deal with Gibbs. But she has chosen to deal with Gibbs, too.
Eli David: This is not the last conversation we will have on this subject!
Vance: Shalom, Eli.

Gibbs: What can we do for you, Officer Bin-Gidon?
Bin-Gidon: I've come for Ziva David. You're holding a member of my team hostage in there.
Tony: Your team's had a rough year.
Gibbs: I think you already missed your chance to rescue Ziva.
Bin-Gidon: Then I'll have arrived in time to rescue her from you.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

By the way, Gibbs. I like the new look.