I'm not alone.

Gibbs

Give Victor a break for being him, not for being someone else.

Gibbs

She never gets sick. Even germs avoid her.

Agent Fornell

Holy 4th of July weiner roast! What am I looking at!

Agent Fornell

Agent McGee: You're attractive, at least on the outside.
Diane Sterling: I'll take that.

Now I wish to act crazy. To really let loose!

Agent Diane Sterling

I bet she's a panther in the sack!

Tony

Oh, yeah, a cheater going after tax cheaters!

Agent Fornell

That's funny. She looks just like our ex-wife.

Agent Fornell

He ruined my jacket. I'd shoot my own mother

Agent Fornell

Dinozzo, let's party!

Schmeil Pinkhas

A zebra can't change its stripes but a woman can.

Miranda Pennebaker

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.