Tony DiNozzo: Shabbat dinner?
Ziva David: It is Friday night. But I have no idea what or who you're talking about.
Tony DiNozzo: Just tell him Agent Meatball says "hi".
Leon Vance: So. We'll still have the house to ourselves after dinner right?
Jackie Vance: You had your shot, baby.
Leroy Gibbs: Leon?
Leon Vance: She's dead. My wife is dead, Gibbs.
Ziva: You did not tell us your father would be coming to town.
Tony: I didn't really think it was going to happen. Because something always comes up, doesn't it?
Ziva: Well I think it sounds wonderful.
Tony: Well I don't. We're not...it doesn't...it always ends up in an argument.
Tony: I don't understand. Where are you staying?
Tony Senior: At your place.
Tony: No. No, no, no, no. Because it's not big enough.
Tony Senior: Oh come on Junior. You've got room. [Looks at the rest of the team] Doesn't he?
Ziva: I would not know. I've never been invited.
Tony Senior [at Tony]: Is that true? What's the matter with you?
Tony Senior: That's your bed?
Tony Senior: Not much room for play.
Tony: Well when I come home, dad, I sleep. Alone.
Tony Senior: You're serious?
Tony: Dad this is my sanctuary. Okay? If I'm going to see a lady I will stay at her place. That way I can leave when I want, and nobody overstays their welcome.
Abby: This ornament has been in my family since the 1890s. It was my great-great grandmother's. So I'm trying to identify as many relatives who have handled it as I can. I already found my Great-Uncle Cooper and Aunt Trixie.
McGee: Ask her how she got a match.
Abby: I used to fingerprint all my relatives at our reunions. I started when I was eleven years old.
McGee: You should appreciate your father. I never had family traditions.
Tony: Well. We haven't had them for years. Traditions kind of died with my grandfather. Senior was kind of an absentee parent, you know? Longstanding customs kind of disappeared. Along with a certain family signet ring. It was always passed on to the next generation on the Christmas of the son's 21st birthday. I never got it. Senior claimed it was stolen. "I was mugged, Junior." But I think he pawned it during the bad times.
Tony: What happened in here?
Tony Senior: Is this how you're going to react to all the hard work I did today? I baked your favorite Christmas cookies. Snickerdoodles. Used your mother's recipe.
Tony: I knew your staying here was a mistake. Look. This is my apartment. Okay? This is my space.
Tony Senior: Junior. Chill. Chill. Get the Christmas spirit.
Tony Senior: Junior's the only family I have left. After his mother died it just hasn't been the same.
Ziva: He showed me a picture of her. She was really beautiful.
Tony Senior: Inside and out. She was the love of my life Ziva. I've never been able to fill up that void. God knows I've gotten into a lot of trouble trying.
Stewie: This was one crazy dude in college. Really knew how to have a good time.
Tony: Shut up. No way.
Stewie: Did he tell you he was the school mascot?
Tony: No! What was the MIT mascot?
McGee: Really. Does it matter?
Tony: Oh yes it does. Stewie?
Stewie: A beaver. He was Tim the Beaver our senior year.
Tony: Please tell me you dressed up like a beaver.
Tony Senior: What can I say? I'm me. I'm not gonna change.
Tony: I know. I know you're not gonna change. And I don't know why I was smiling because there's nothing funny about this. Dad this is my home. I told you my rules, okay? And you broke them. It was a mistake having you here for Christmas.
Tony Senior: You want me to leave.