NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSNCIS Quotes
Valeri: Okay, Tim, just please tell him the story already.
Bishop: You haven't heard this story?
Tony: Bishop knows?
McGee: Alright, look. I'll tell you but you can't make fun of me.
Tony: I promise. My word is my bond.
McGee: Well, Val and I were each other's first kiss.
Tony: What does that have to do with the tooth?
McGee: It was allergy season and, well, I leaned in for a kiss. Got a little itch. Turned into a sneeze and I head-butted her.
Valeri: I spent the next few hours at the dentist.
Bishop: Talk about memorable.
Tony: Timothy Farragut McGee. You smooth operator.
McGee: Tony.
Tony: Thank you for honoring me with the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
SecNav: Maybe it's time I re-evaluate my priorities.
Gibbs: You going to quit?
SecNav: If it's best for my family. You don't agree? Think I'm being ruled by fear, what?
Gibbs: I don' think it matters what I think.
SecNav: Humor me.
Gibbs: Family's important.
SecNav: That's it? No rousing pep talk? No "we need you on that wall, Madame Secretary"?
Gibbs: Disappointed?
SecNav: A little bit. Yeah.
McGee: Sometimes I think you prefer being alone.
Tony: We all have to live with our decisions, Tim.
[reading Valentine's Day card] Roses are red; they go in a bucket; Jake is a jerk; he can go suck it.
Bishop
Tony: Gibbs, I don't think Abby's heart cakes are edible.
Gibbs: They're tofu, DiNozzo. You keep chewing.
Tony: Remember Max Headroom, Gibbs?
Gibbs: Who?
Tony: From the 80s. Robot-head.
Grossman: Conveniently, I was born without empathy. With regard to Senior Chief De La Rosa's unfortunate passing, I reviewed the video and there was no proof he died of anything other the complications due to his own line of work. Secondly, even if there were foul play, there is no link between his death and our mission.
Gibbs: What is your mission?
Grossman: Our mission is classified.
Maria: I would never leave my husband. I was raised Catholic, Agent Gibbs. My marriage was sacred.
Gibbs: You've got a funny way of showing it.
Gibbs: You know, there's a small percentage of people who can't eat anything processed red. Allergies. Gives them rashes, Meredith. Like that rash you have right there, Meredith. You must have touched something red recently, huh? Like a vial of red liquid cocaine? Found those inside the PPAs your divers positioned on the ocean floor. There's 200 of them. That's a whole lot of drug money.
Grossman: It's inadmissible garbage. Doesn't make any sense. Where would Meredith get narcotics like that?
Gibbs: She didn't. She had a partner, who's being arrested as we speak. In 2010, you represented the Suarez Cartel. Their signature product was liquid cocaine. Last month you had a meeting in Cartagena. We've been tracking your pre-positioned asset. Last night it was called to the surface and loaded onto a Columbian trailer. The DEA raided it.
Meredith: You dumb ass!
Grossman: Shut up, Merry.
Gibbs: No, Jerry. You shut up.
I'm confused. Are you having trouble building a case against me? Do you need the Navy's help?
Katz
Dacey: My night crew won't be in for a few hours, but you guys are welcome to stick around. Actually, it's 90s night, in case you guys want to re-live some of your glory days later.
McGee: Excuse me?
Tony: Glory days?
Dacey: Yeah. Show off some of those old dance moves. Little "Can't Touch This."
Adam: I never have pegged you for the type, Ellie.
Bishop: The type?
Adam: Ah, you know. Trade in your stats and your snacks for a badge and a gun.
