Kidnapper: You've been very patient waiting for my call, Madame Secretary, as are the agents waiting with you.
SecNav: I want to speak to my daughter.
Kidnapper: You're not in a position to make demands. Rest assured Megan's fine. Whether she stays that way is up to you.
SecNav: What is it that you want?
Kidnapper: Your attention. Do I have it?
SecNav: Yes.
Kidnapper: Good. If you want to see your daughter again it'll cost you ten million dollars. You have twenty-four hours.

Tony: Okay but I guess I won't be able to tell you the middle name McGee's been holding out on us.
Abby: Farragut.
Tony: Does everybody know?

SecNav: They said no cops. Have you looked in the mirror? You look like an MP, you look like a fed and you look like Sonny Crockett.
Tony: Don Johnson or Colin Farrell?

Tony: So what happened? Gibbs give you the brush-off?
Valeri: I get the sense he thinks I'm the enemy.
Tony: Well you're not. Unless you're one of his ex-wives. Or a lawyer.

Tim's good at his job.

Tony

Fornell: What?
Tony: It's a nice look, the neon, chin strap. Did you guys stop by a rave on the way back?

Valeri: Okay, Tim, just please tell him the story already.
Bishop: You haven't heard this story?
Tony: Bishop knows?
McGee: Alright, look. I'll tell you but you can't make fun of me.
Tony: I promise. My word is my bond.
McGee: Well, Val and I were each other's first kiss.
Tony: What does that have to do with the tooth?
McGee: It was allergy season and, well, I leaned in for a kiss. Got a little itch. Turned into a sneeze and I head-butted her.
Valeri: I spent the next few hours at the dentist.
Bishop: Talk about memorable.
Tony: Timothy Farragut McGee. You smooth operator.
McGee: Tony.
Tony: Thank you for honoring me with the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

SecNav: Maybe it's time I re-evaluate my priorities.
Gibbs: You going to quit?
SecNav: If it's best for my family. You don't agree? Think I'm being ruled by fear, what?
Gibbs: I don' think it matters what I think.
SecNav: Humor me.
Gibbs: Family's important.
SecNav: That's it? No rousing pep talk? No "we need you on that wall, Madame Secretary"?
Gibbs: Disappointed?
SecNav: A little bit. Yeah.

McGee: Sometimes I think you prefer being alone.
Tony: We all have to live with our decisions, Tim.

[reading Valentine's Day card] Roses are red; they go in a bucket; Jake is a jerk; he can go suck it.

Bishop

Tony: Gibbs, I don't think Abby's heart cakes are edible.
Gibbs: They're tofu, DiNozzo. You keep chewing.

Tony: Remember Max Headroom, Gibbs?
Gibbs: Who?
Tony: From the 80s. Robot-head.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.