McGee: I don't trust him.
Tony: With Delilah.
McGee: With the case. And frankly that too. I mean they work together, I guess it's possible they're just friendly.
Tony: Totally.
McGee: But...
Tony: You want me to speculate?
McGee: No. I mean just because the birds and bees are in the same room doesn't necessarily mean that there's.....pollination.
Tony: Did you pass health class?

Tony: Tim. How many times have you tried to contact Delilah in the last twelve hours?
McGee: Texts? Couple. All right, a dozen. But I only called six times.
Tony: What?
McGee: And left messages.
Tony: Honey.
McGee: I know.
Tony: I know you know but you're scaring her. That's not good. Women want the illusion of being chased. They don't want to actually be chased.

Ali: We need to scan every minute of this footage for an I.D.
Gibbs: Yes we do.
Ali: Director Vance, Homeland is part of this.
Vance: Gibbs. Stop. Don't. Damn, he's so fast.

Just so you know, Delilah made sure we had separate rooms. We're sharing a place while she's back in the States. I could tell you were concerned.

Ali

McGee: Do you want to break up?
Delilah: No.
McGee: Well, me neither.
Delilah: But are we?
McGee: It sure sounds like it, yeah.

McGee: Why did you move half way around the world?
Delilah: Why did you let me?
McGee: Because I love you.
Delilah: I know.

Delilah: Rule number 9. I listen. You and I on the other hand...we need to work on our communication.
McGee [kisses her]: Hello.
Delilah: Hi.

People call us blue collar. I don't care what color your shirt is. You bring pride to the job, people notice. Even if they don't, you notice.

Cy White

Look at me guys. I am doing paper work. Then I'm going to go make some bread with a girl that makes me smile. I'm evolving.

Tony

Ducky: My mind has been scattered with grandfatherly worries.
Gibbs: Grandfather?
Ducky: Mr. Palmer has declared when the child is of speaking age, she will call me "Grand-Ducky".

Bishop: So why did Linda leave him?
Tony: She probably got clued into his line of work.
Bishop: I thought he was a businessman.
Tony: Ha.
McGee: Well he calls himself an entrepreneur. But he's kind of more like a head-hunter who finds rich people, by--
Tony: It's okay Tim, you can say it. My dad is a con man.
Bishop: What? But he's so---
Tony: Handsome? Charismatic? Right place, right time? Exactly.

McGee: You know, maybe you should give him an activity. It'll occupy his mind. Pretend like nothing's wrong?
Bishop: Like you do for Tony when he's depressed?
McGee: Yeah.
Tony: You do?
McGee: Oh yeah. When Ziva stayed in Israel?
Tony: Oh yeah. You asked me to help me replace that Tron wallpaper in your bedroom with the new Star Wars stuff.
McGee: Worked like a charm.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.