You're my best friend in the whole world. We've been through a lot together so I just do feel like your sperm are partly my sperm.

Schmidt

Why are you putting spoons in the laundry hamper?

Schmidt

Nick: I'm trying my hardest to look poor.
Winston: You are poor.

They're reaching into your skin wallet. Your scrotum.

Schmidt

It's good for you! It's corn!

Bob

You have no standing to veto, it's my sperm.

Nick

That's more like dork magic.

Nick

Ever since we got engaged you've been acting insanely jealous.

Cece

I want magic, is that so bad?

Nick

This woman is engaged. Her number belongs to God now, thank you.

Schmidt

I simply want a demographic breakdown of all the guys who hit on you.

Schmidt

Nick has a crush on a girl who is completely out of his league.

Winston

New Girl Quotes

You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver's shoe.

Jess

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick