This woman is engaged. Her number belongs to God now, thank you.

Schmidt

I simply want a demographic breakdown of all the guys who hit on you.

Schmidt

Nick has a crush on a girl who is completely out of his league.

Winston

Nick, we're making sex.

Schmidt

It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut.

Nick

Oh yeah this woman just made my not sexual to do list.

Winston

You know I helped the lady give birth in the kitchen?

Winston

The baby is perfectly fine, but lets just say I did not do a good job.

Winston

That was painful Nick! That's like watching Cece make a bed.

Schmidt

I've been chasing you for miles like a murderer.

Winston

I love you like a mother or sister or girlfriend. It's not sexual.

Nick

I can't concentrate, it's filthy in here!

Schmidt

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Jess: I have to go out tonight, 'cause I'm feeling pretty twirly.
Schmidt: Twirly? Is that like horny?
Jess: I've got the dirty twirlies, Schmitdy!"