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New-girl

Did I leave my Oakland Raiders yarmulke over there?

Schmidt

Peanuts is an acronym! It stands for "Physical Education Activity...Nuts!"

Coach

Are you okay to drive? You've got crazy eyes!

Nick

Coach: Remember when you sat out of the game because you were sad?
Winston: I was also cold.

Coach: His jeans are so small.
Nick: Looks like a puppet, like something an Italian whittled

Is that Notorious N.A.G.? Is that Naggie Gyllenhaal?

Coach

Oh, look at the time! It's butt-o-clock!

Coach

Nick doesn't have a life plan. He doesn't have a day plan. I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, "Put on pants."

Jess

I call it a "Temple Grandin," because it makes me friendly and compassionate.

Jess

Nick isn't even a man. He's some kind of man-boy, man-child hybrid. The other day, I had to tell him not to pull a dog's tail.

Jess

Schmidt, you stole my toothpaste while I was using it. That's vindictive.

Jess

And it was you, not Keaton, who told me that women aren't attracted to men who wear maternity pants?

Schmidt
Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 525 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach
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