You have the focus of a coked up Italian on a summer day!

Schmidt

You don't need Jess's bowl of advice, Winston.

Cece

I'm not willing to turn our home into a public pool.

Schmidt

What? You don't think I can be supportive?

Cece

Who am I supposed to go to for lady advice now?

Winston

Schmidt: Oh good lord! I'm marrying Nick.
Jess: Duh.

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On a plus side, I'm being very witty during this fight.

Nick

You what's fly? Cleaning is fly. Cleaning's cool dude.

Nick

Why does he act like the Pope when he's happy?

Jess

They're just boobs!

Nick

When I first grew boobs people started handing me stuff and I got messy, but then you gotta grow up.

Nick

OK, yes, she's a hot slob. Ever since she got boobs people stopped making her do stuff.

Jess

New Girl Quotes

You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver's shoe.

Jess

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick