New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
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When you put it like that, it sounds amazing...AND like prison.

Nick

Jess: Why does your bottom need to breathe?
Nick: It's like a plant. It needs sun and air.

You're Abby Freakin' Day. You can do whatever you want. Except vote.

Jess

Quit sorting through my trash, Coach! You're messing it all up!

Schmidt

What makes Abby's jewelry so interesting is that it is dangerous and can cut you

Schmidt

Jess, can I borrow your glasses? We're going to roleplay as you guys.

Schmidt

I've got an uncle whose God-given name is 'Shifty.'

Nick

She is sleeping. By herself. Which is called napping.

Nick

Crazy girls are kind of my 'Hurt Locker.'

Schmidt

Girl, I got an obligation...at a...sandwich...meeting.

Winston

Ooh, bonus shot of Dad getting a haircut while eating spaghetti!

Jess

Have you seen a girl who looks like me, but with chaos in her eyes?

Jess
Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 553 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach