New Girl

New Girl Quotes (Page 7)

Season 2 Episode 11: "Santa"

Schmidt: He's a player. Why would a good looking person ever become a doctor?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jess: He's talking to a woman with a sexuality I won't jump to conclusions about.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 10: "Bathtub"

Nick: Because college is so expensive...
Angie: I'm a stripper.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Schmidt: Everybody hates the Jews! Your mom's in the majority! I'll convert to Indianism!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Winston: The phone?
Jess: I don't know...looks like a meth-head sandwich to me!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Schmidt: You my boo and I been missing you. I been missing you oh so long.
 • Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Schmidt: I'd put it in a bowl and eat your hair.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Winston: There are parts of my butt that only a tub can clean.
Jess: Ew, but okay!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Nick: I don't get it. Is this bath water?
Schmidt: Might as well be; it's rosé.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 9: "Eggs"

Schmidt: I can't believe I have to have feelings to have good sex. I thought I'd be dead before that happened.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jess: You care about burritos more than my children?
Nick: You're putting me in a tough spot right now!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Schmidt: Would I have to put my legs in the stirrups?
Melissa: Why would you even ask that?
Schmidt: I'm asking more so out of curiosity than fear. Hashtag, excitement.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Schmidt: You are a gynecologist and a lesbian. This makes you a vagenius.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Schmidt: I feel like our bodies really made something. Like we brought manufacturing jobs back to America.
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Melissa: I'm 32 by my eggs are 48 and my vagina is 97.
Sadie: And it gets better with age. It's like the vagina Helen Mirin.
 • Rating: Unrated

Nick: What are you going to do for 20 minutes of foreplay? Boring! Yawn! Am I right, ladies?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Jess: What's the secret?
Sadie: It's about love, understanding and two sets of boobs!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 8: "Parents"

Schmidt: Look at that plating. It is impeccable.
Big Schmidt: Nice squeeze bottle work there, Bobby Flay.
Schmidt: He is still relevant!
Big Schmidt: Where? Phoenix?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Bob: No, no, no. It was my mistake. I'll wait five hours and come back when Joan's shift is up.
Joan: Bob, just stay! What if we need something ruined?
Jess: Mom!
Bob: It's all right. I'll spend my holiday at a Los Angeles coffee shop, sitting around with people who have nothing better to do on Thanksgiving than work on their screenplay. I probably won't want to blow my head off.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jess: I just want to warn you guys that my mom's a little bit perky.
Winston: Wait, you think she's perky?
Jess: Well, she doesn't have my dark side. I got that from my dad.
 • Rating: Unrated

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