The baby is perfectly fine, but lets just say I did not do a good job.

Winston

You know I helped the lady give birth in the kitchen?

Winston

Nick has a crush on a girl who is completely out of his league.

Winston

I simply want a demographic breakdown of all the guys who hit on you.

Schmidt

That's more like dork magic.

Nick

I want magic, is that so bad?

Nick

Ever since we got engaged you've been acting insanely jealous.

Cece

This woman is engaged. Her number belongs to God now, thank you.

Schmidt

If I can't have a kid with a woman, then maybe I'll have one with my cousin.

Nick

I may have your entire life planned out on my computer. I made a spreadsheet and everything. I worked on it this morning.

Schmidt

You're my best friend in the whole world. We've been through a lot together so I just do feel like your sperm are partly my sperm.

Schmidt

You have no standing to veto, it's my sperm.

Nick

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.

Schmidt