New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
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Why lie? You know how many Millers have been or currently are in jail?

Nick

I just need to get to Rachel before he tells her horrible-slash-true things about me.

Schmidt

Schmidt: It's a bar mitzvah!
Nick: I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised.

Nick: I just want to make a good impression on Jess's sister.
Schmidt: Yeah, well, I want Julia Child not to be dead, but here we find ourselves.

Sorry to interrupt--I know the morning is the most sensual time of day.

Jess's Mom

Nick: Men don't talk to people they've dated, unless they want sex, or they're Winston.
Winston: I also want sex.

Oh, this is terrible--she's quoting Scripture, but using a ton of cuss words.

Nick

Fellas, you made it! As promised, here's a coupon for a free sub.

Schmidt

It's nice inside of here--it's like a European airport.

Coach

I love you, Jessica--God, it feels good to say that out loud, and not just to my sleeping wife.

Berkley

Can't spell sex without the 'ex.'

Coach

Nick, I never thought I'd say this, but I need to be alone with Prince.

Jess
Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 553 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach