I could retire! But I wouldn't - I'm going to work until I'm a 100. Then I'll cut back to four days a week.

Leslie

I'm perfectly civil! He's the stupid garbage-head doodoo-face!

Leslie

I'm already so bored thinking about that one day off. I should go law school!

Leslie

Ron: Hello Knope.
Leslie: Hello former strange person I used to friend. You're looking very Ron-like.
Ron: You have your same hair.
Leslie: No! I don't! I have bangs now!
Ron: I've never known what bangs are and I don't intend to learn!

Leslie: Get out of here Ed, I fired you!
Ed: Oh, yeah. If anyone wants to hang, I'll be at Subway!

Yes, the sky has land.

Ron

Andy: And I have my own TV show!
Announcer: Welcome back to the Johnny Awesome: Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show!

And the Tommy Chopper. We sell chopped salad out of a decommissioned military helicopter. I'm a mogul now!

Tom

Hahaha, write down that I'm funny!

Tom

April: I guess I could pick up a brisket tomorrow and start it for dinner Thursday.
Andy: Oh Thursday's no good - I have production meetings ALL day. And we have dinner with Joe and Donna on Friday. Hey, you know, Sunday. We could go to the farmer's market, put the brisket in the slow cooker, get a movie on payper view - the new Jason Borne movie is supposed to be pretty funny.
April: AHHH!!

You all have 36 hours to find me $90 million, go!

Leslie

Leslie: Who cares if they have more money, I have the most valuable currency in America: a blind, stubborn, belief that what I am doing is right!

Parks & Rec Quotes

Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.

Look, Tammy and I don't work. We are oil and water. Or oil and TNT and C4 and a detonator and a butane torch.

Ron