Ron: I have my rights as a US citizen to blow a hole in that f*cking door and get out! It's in the constitution!
Leslie: There's no swearing in the constitution.

Ron: You mean I've had a toy on my desk all this time?
Leslie: You mean you thought you had a REAL landmine on your desk??

Leslie: You forgot the last sentence.
Ron: No I didn't - I remember that part. It says "hire her."

I'll do anything! I'll watch a foreign film! I'll talk to a man with a ponytail!

Ron

Ron: You called me a "heartless thug."
Leslie: I absolutely did not!
Ron: You were tough. And honest.

That's the real reason I hired you. Those brownies were damn good.

Ron

Two years ago, you found out you were quarter French and had a nervous breakdown.

Leslie

Ron: Hello Larry.
Terry: It's Terry now.
Ron: Okay.

I was going to ask you for a job. In the federal government - even saying it feels dirty.

Ron

Sure I loved shutting things down, bleeding the beast from the inside...

Ron

I moved our meetings to tomorrow because you are drunk, and hangover, simultaneously, at 2 in the afternoon.

April

Leslie: Ron, you big fat giant sap!
Ron: That seems unnecessary.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.

Look, Tammy and I don't work. We are oil and water. Or oil and TNT and C4 and a detonator and a butane torch.

Ron