Leslie: Did he do all this just for you?
Ann: No, he just lives like this. He's deeply in debt, but who cares.

Sure I loved shutting things down, bleeding the beast from the inside...


What the fuck is a German muffin?!?


Ben: You know what I like? Calzones.
Chief Trumple: What the hell's wrong with this guy?

And it's important because Pawnee is the fourth fattest town in the U.S. It goes us, Dallas, Tulsa and certain parts of the Mall of America.


Tom: Hold up. Former beauty queen Jessica Wicks?
Bill: Yes.
Tom: I'm Tom Haverford. I'm going to be running point on this, Bill.

Are you hitting on Leslie for me?


Ron: Haircuts, there are three acceptable haircuts: High and tight, crew cut, buzz cut. Are the scissors broken in your house, son?

We really need better security here. We also need better, less offensive history.


Ben: You have an opinion on pockets!
Leslie: Yes! I think they should all be bigger!

[to Andy] I'm happy for you about your job, and that you've learned some new words, but I've made my decision.


Unless Andy can un-kiss Ann, then I'm not going to change my mind.


Parks & Rec Quotes

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.


Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!