Sir? This is a childrens slide. You're not allowed to sleep here.

Leslie Knope

Marcie: Hmm, you seem to have a $40 late fee on a book called Mysteries of the Female Orgasm!
Leslie: No I don't!

Shauna: I'm surprised no one's complained about this.
Leslie: Oh, tons of people have. Yeah ... we get letters every day.

Leslie: That fish over there kinda reminds me of my mom.
Justin: Why?
Leslie: It's just being very withholding.

Mark: Ron, none of this is up to code.
Ron: Sure it is. It's up to the Swanson code.

This spaceship keyboard is driving me crazy. I'm down to one word a minute and the word is perflipiskop. Because I can't fly spaceships.

Donna

Carl: There's been 10 assaults already this year.
Leslie: Wow, really? Can't you station a park ranger out here?
Carl: We have! Who do you think they're assaulting? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell.

Donna: Did you just pee your pants?
Jerry: Just a dab.

Ann: What are you up to?
Leslie: Just looking up scandalous information about my co-workers for a game we're playing.
Ann: My taxes pay your salary right?
Leslie: Yeah?
Ann: Cool.

Video Ron Demand.

Tom

Ron: You called me a "heartless thug."
Leslie: I absolutely did not!
Ron: You were tough. And honest.

I call eggs pre-birds or future birds.

Tom

Parks & Rec Quotes

Sometimes when you make an omelet you've gotta break a few eggs. What's the alternative? No omelets at all? Who wants to live in that kind of world? Maybe birds. Then all their babies would live.

Leslie

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April