I hate riddles, and other such nonsense. I want that on record, but something wicked with a book is my ex-wife's library.

Ron

So what did you guys talk about? Old times? Oh, I love talking about old times. New times are great too, but there's just something about old times. You know what I mean?

Leslie

Chris: Ron, I want to do things the Swanson way.
Ron: Wonderful. First rule. No conversation lasts longer than 100 total words. I have used 9. You have used 20.

Why? Was there something inside the stupid ball?

Andy

For date of birth, you wrote 'spring time.'

Ann

Derek: Because old people are funny.
Ben: Yeah, it'll be like the Golden Girls.

Ben: I guess we'll just set fire to the studio or something.
Leslie: Oh that's so sweet, I've never had a boyfriend willing to commit arson for me before.
Donna: It gets old.

Leslie: How do we cut through the red tape and how do we get this pit filled in? Ideas?
Tom: We need to cut through the red tape and get the pit filled in.
Leslie: Yes, Tom. Good.

What's cholesterol?

Ron

I'm sorry, Shauna. I think I need to go. But, um, thank you so much and as always everything I said is off the record. OK? Bye.

Leslie

Is Mark the guy who's fixing your shower? Because I don't know about you, Mark, but I've seen a lot of porn, and I know what "fixing your shower" means.

Andy

If we can't get the rights, I'm going ot walk

Andy

Parks & Rec Quotes

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.

Andy

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April