Martin: Coming up, a very special video presentation called Even My Tongue is Fat: The Story of Pawnee.

Ron: I went to Paunch Burger and got a number two: Double Bacon Grenade Deluxe with hash browns, chili cheese fries, and one poached egg.
Ann: Ugh, number two is right.

Leslie: Get out of here Ed, I fired you!
Ed: Oh, yeah. If anyone wants to hang, I'll be at Subway!

My mom's Puerto Rican. That's why I'm so lively and colorful.

April

Chris, you have come up with a plan so spectacularly horrible that it might ruin the entire department.

Ron

Well, this simulated disaster is a total disaster.

Leslie

So it learns information about me?

Ron

And just like that. The one tiny aspect of government I enjoyed was clubbed to death before my eyes.

Ron

I know you're probably thinking, "There's that crazy gate lady from outside back again." And to some extent, you're right. I am the gate lady. But the only thing I'm crazy about is leaving the past behind.

Leslie

I'm fix six and three-quarters.

Tom

I am back where I came from!

Leslie

Needles in your face pleasure in your base.

Donna

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.