Hello Leslie, how long have you been sleeping with Ben?


Does the carpet match the face?


Leslie: Ron, you big fat giant sap!
Ron: That seems unnecessary.

These people are members of the community that care about where they live. So what hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring ... loudly at me.

Leslie Knope

Ron: To me, this situation is a blood-soaked, nightmare-ish hellscape. However to Leslie Knope-
Leslie: Oh how fun!
April: Yay.

Andy: I just wrote a new song, OK? Bottom line: it's called "sex hair." It's about how you can tell when someone just had sex 'cause of how their hair gets matted up in the back. It's awesome.

Ken Hotatay: During the battle, 93 year old Chief Oxcatay was shot 102 times by the calvary.
Tom: Did he die?

Marcie: Hmm, you seem to have a $40 late fee on a book called Mysteries of the Female Orgasm!
Leslie: No I don't!

April: Do you want me to seduce Perd Hapley?
Leslie: How would that help?
April: I don't know. I just want to see if I could do it.
Leslie: April, I appreciate that, but I don't think it's something worth losing your virginity over.

You don't have to buy me things. I just like being around you.


Tom: Ron Corleone. This really attractive woman is my girlfriend, Lucy.
Ron: Hello, Lucy.
Lucy: Hi.
Ron: Whoa. Impressive handshake.
Lucy: Thanks. My father told me that a limp handshake was for weak men and communists. He hated both.
Ron: Well done, Tommy.

Andy: Tell me your least favorite things you have to do everyday and I'll do them for a month.
April: Fine. If you do everything I hate for a month, then I might begin to think about the possiblity of thinking about maybe staying.
Andy: That's all I have to hear. You won't live to regret this.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!


Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.