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Parks-and-recreation

Donor: So you do a lot of investing?
Andy: We dabble. I recently invested in some shirts at a garage sale. Left those at a Wendy's, on the way home, so... the economy.

I once hosted a forum about a new bike rack that lasted seven hours. Now, when I need these people to complain they're done in 45 minutes?

Leslie

It's gotten a lot harder to work in government. You think Winston Churchill ever had to pull his pants down and show his butt? No. But would he have? Yes. Now could he have? Well maybe not towards the end of his life. But, he would have. Because he loved his job.

Leslie

Leslie: Ma'am, the next we speak, we shall be dancing on the grave of a possum.
Evelyn: Great.

Michelle Obama: Well, you know how I feel about Chicago.
Leslie: You’re from Chicago so you like it!

One time when I was in high school a guy's mom called me and broke up with me for him. There was another time when I was on a date and I tripped and broke my kneecap, and then the guy said he wasn't feeling it, so he left and I waited for an ambulance. One time I was dating this guy for awhile, and then he got down on one knee and he begged me to never call him again. One guy broke up with me while we were in the shower together. Skywriting isn't always positive. Another time a guy invited me to a beautiful picnic with wine and flowers. And then when I tried to sit down, he said, "Don't eat anything. Rebecca's coming." And then he broke up with me.

Leslie

Principal: How old are you?
April: He’s 33 and I’m 47/Immortal.

Yes, I am 21 years old today, which is the age that pretty much everyone agrees makes you an adult.

April

Ron: Tammy is a mean person.
Leslie: Come on, Ron. You can do better than that.
Ron: She's a grade-A bitch.
Leslie: There we go.

And it's because of you, our teachers, that every one of these recreation classes in this catalogue shines like a jewel in Pawnee's beautiful crown. Unfortunately due to budget constraints, this year we will have to remove five jewels from that crown.

Leslie

I think we may have used up all our luck tonight. Actually, not all of it, he's about to get lucky. [Leslie points to Ben] It's on.

Leslie

Jerry: Leslie, you look tired and you're all sweaty.
Leslie: You look tired and you're all sweaty all the time. What's your excuse. You wanna go there, Jerry?
Jerry: No.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 1356 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.

Ron
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