All that coffee and legal marijuana has people wanting to buy houses quickly, and irrationally.

Donna

April: But in the end? Bringing a child into this world? That's disgusting!
Andy: Nooo, we'd wipe all the disgusting stuff right off it!

Tom: It's a whole documentary of my failures!
Lucy: That you made!

I love you, you're one of my best friends, but you have betrayed me and everything you stand for! You've changed.

Tom

Ben, your heart's in the right place. Your heart and your butt.

Leslie

Honestly, you'd look hot naked.

Andy

Oh, people grieve in different ways.

Leslie

You're what keeps me going. You're my "VerizonChipotleExon."

Andy

It's f*cking milk.

Ron

Allergic to chestnuts... and good haircuts.

Leslie

I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.

Ron

Oh, our balloon artisan is out of balloons. Excuse me.

Mr. St. James

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.