Say what you want about organized religion, but those bastards knew how to construct an edifice.

Ron

Also they called three hours ago, and said they approved the plans.

Ron

I wish my reign had lasted longer -- but I'm happy with the decisions I made, and the people I fired.

Craig

It's about time! We're losing the cranberry sauce, effective immediately!

Craig

I say, in matters of the heart, treat yo' self.

Donna

All the sushi is made by fish, previously owned by celebrities.

Tom

The hound is a cologne I made that makes everything smell like wet dog.

Dennis Feinstein

PSYCH!

Dennis Feinstein
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Oh yeah, tiny rolled up scrolls delivered by foxes.

April

Was it Putin? Voldemort Putin? Of Russia?

Andy

How ever many waffles it takes to keep you in business.

Leslie

Treat yo' self -- in Beverly Hills!

Tom

Parks & Rec Quotes

Ron: Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse, the best damn steakhouse in the damn state. I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there. June 2004: Porterhouse, medium rare, Bearnaise sauce. January 2000: They call this one, The Enforcer. February '96: The steak ribeye. The Whiskey: Lagavulin 16. The lady next to me? A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy. OK, this is the first I ever went there. Look at me. Just a kid.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April