Will: Did it never occur to you I had a job?
Megan: Umm no, but that's probably because I've known you for four months and you never mentioned you had one, but I'm silly like that

You're staying on, you have all the cards, we'll see how honorable you really are

Laurel

Rose: Okay but we're not leaving each other yet?
Sage: Not for a long ass time

Sage: I am so sick of you worshiping at the altar of Megan Smith
Rose: What is that supposed to mean?
Sage: You've been acting all righteous ever since her and her poly cotton ass has walked into this house

Rose: I just really need an objective opinion from an older person and you're like the oldest person I know who that doesn't work for me
Charlie: It's a weird little world you live in Rose

I had you pegged as this chill Abercrombie guy, and you have more drama going on than a sorority house

Mandy [to Charlie]

Megan: Is it too late to jump off the balcony?
Will: I'd be very sad if you did, even though you are on the ground floor

Will: If it's any consolation, I did the same thing. The first real pictures I ever took were practically illegal
Megan: If this is going to a naked school girl place, I don't want to know about it

Patricia: I don't have time to sell Rose Baker as a solo act
Sage: I'm Sage
Patricia: My point exactly

Megan: I will give you points for style and delivery, but just so you know I was already planning on telling Laurel
Sage: Oh really? Then you better run
[Sage sends email to Laurel]
Megan: You wicked little...
[Megan takes off running]

Rose: I don't know what's sadder: that you keep all your papers or that you wear that thing around your neck
Megan: I brought this for you, I'm not that big of a fashion victim, though it does match my cardigan

Marco: Rose wanted me to tell you she's done with her reading and she's ready for your study session
Megan: Great, is sage there too?
Marco: Last I heard there were no reports of pigs flying or hell freezing over
Megan: Hmm.. think there's any chance of Laurel paying off half of my student loans if I only get Rose in Duke? ... Right, no flying pigs, hell still burning

Privileged Quotes

Boss [about Megan's hair]: It's just so bright
Megan: Everyone loves Lucille Ball but no one does anything about it.
Boss: This isn't about the hair, though it is really distracting...

Hey lady, i can see your va-jay-jay!

Random kid