He put his penis in my hand!

Girl

Tommy: Maybe I should just kill myself.
Ray: Kill yourself tomorrow. Tonight you're going to this awards thing and you're taking my kid.

Ray: What the f*ck is on your head?
Tommy: My heart is broken. How can you even ask me that?

Conor: Look, I know you think he's a perv. He's not. He likes trannies. And girls when he's drunk.
Ray: You seem to know him pretty well.
Conor: He's my friend. He's never done anything to me. And if he did, I know how to take care of myself.

F*ck the bureau. Lazy people are always sticking their names on good work. Not this time. Who's got the stick now, hmmm? Who's got the stick now?

Priest: You've been here two minutes and you've already committed two sins.
Terry: What's your point?
Priest: You're really hard on yourself. God doesn't condemn us.

Abby: I could smell her on you.
Ray: What?
Abby: That night when I went to your apartment to surprise you, I could smell her sex on you.

Ray: How's Bridg?
Abby: She's a little bitch. She thinks I'm an idiot and you're an animal.
Ray: Well, she's right about one of us.

Frances: Sweetheart, what are we doing?
Terry: You're cheatin' on him. It's not fair.
Frances: Fair? Who cares about fair. I'm in love with you. There are arrangements that people live with.
Terry: It's indecent. You can't go from his bed into mine.
Frances: If it's so indecent, why did you keep f*cking me? You knew about it.
Terry: So. It's over between us.

Mickey: You know how to twerk?
Spa Lady: Twerk? What?
Mickey: We'll get to that.

Terry: You're a hard man, Ray.
Ray: What are you talkin' about?
Terry: You gotta be careful with girls. You gotta be gentle.
Ray: (Laughs)

Terry: I'm sorry. I didn't know she was married, but you don't hit a lady.
France's Husband: She's not a lady, she's a f*ckin' whore.

Ray Donovan Quotes

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Abby: I walked into your son's bedroom this mornin', and he was watchin' porn and fuckin' his own bed.
Ray: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about.
Abby: Your son Conor stuck his teenage dick between his box spring and his mattress and fucked his own bed.