Abby: I walked into your son's bedroom this mornin', and he was watchin' porn and fuckin' his own bed.
Ray: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about.
Abby: Your son Conor stuck his teenage dick between his box spring and his mattress and fucked his own bed.

Who fucked your wife? I bet he wasn't part of your fantasy football team.

Navy Seal

Kidnapper: Where's the money?!
Uber Driver: You don't need any money! It's all done through the app.

Conor: Dad's a fuckin' thug.
Bridget: Daddy's not a thug!
Conor: I meant it in a cool way.

Finney: Well, you've dealt with this kind of thing before. Kidnapping.
Ray: No.
Finney: Oh, I assume you're too busy saving people from themselves, covering things up, huh?
Ray: I guess.
Finney: I guess, could be, sure, okay. Is this the way you usually obtain employment, by muttering two word answers?

Abby: Ezra's dead.
Ray: What?
Abby: He's gone, Ray.
Ray: The fuck you talkin' about?

Avi: Ray, we have to make things right.
Ray: Go fuck yourself.

We're the same, aren't we? I knew it the minute I met you.

Steve

It felt good. It was liberating. I mean, didn't you ever kill anybody Ray? See? I can tell. I can tell. You saw that. You, you definitely have.

Steve

Ray: How's this gonna work?
Cookie: Whatcha mean Ray?
Ray: How do I know for sure you're not gonna hurt my kid?
Cookie: You don't. [bang]
Ray: I didn't think so. [bullet to Cookie's forehead]

Ray: You gonna shoot me Cookie?
Cookie: I don't know Ray. I don't always wanna be lookin' over my shoulder.
Ray: Yeah, I know the feelin'.

They say it's a common thing. That you know you won't do it, but you think that you will. But you know you won't.

Bunchy

Ray Donovan Quotes

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Well it's not going to lick itself.

Motel Owner