Favorite Rescue Me Quotes
I'll tell you what I think. your wife has a vagina. Sheila has a vagina. Kelly has a vagina. Your daughters have vaginas. You are surrounded by vaginas on all sides, which is probably the reason why, I believe, you've grown one all on your own. Because you're no longer thinking with your cock, you're thinking with your vag. It's the only reason that makes sense because otherwise you would be banging beautiful Miss Kelly instead of heading into one of these emotional affairs with her, just like last year.
Lou
Mike: Her vagina. Was it like rank? Cause that happens to chicks, bro. That's why they invented the douche.
Sean: I thought they invented that so we'd have something to call you.
The doctor said "you won," but I don't feel like I won anything!
Kelly
I don't want to spend the next ten years twisting in the wind trying to figure out all of this, you know, anger or grief. I don't want to be you. All the stuff you're talking about, I mean, all the stuff about God and ghosts and all of it. It doesn't make a difference, the women and the booze. You have to just go home and kiss your wife the way you kissed me. That might work a little magic.
Kelly
You think we could light like one or two... hundred more candles?
Sean
Sean: Hey, you gonna try and bang her?
Mike: Nah, bro. I'm not in that mode right now.
Sean: Getting laid mode? I didn't realize there was a "not getting laid" mode.
Hmmm, well, you're still breathing, ain't ya?
Sheila
Tommy: You talked to Derrick Jeter?
Kelly: I don't know. I guess. I asked Derrick Jeter to stop talking to me.
Tommy: You asked Derrick Jeter to stop talking to you?
Sean: She is so hot.
Mike: I know and she wears that tulip bodice like a princess.
Sean: What did you just say?
Did you go to hell? I'll take that as a yes.
Kevin
This house is on its last god damn legs.
Chief Reilly
Tommy: What's wrong with Feinberg?
Needles: I think he might be Jewish.
