Royal Pains Quotes
Sam: Aunt Claire, we're memorizing our audition song.
Maddie: Yeah, we're gonna win the American Idols.
Evan: Oh no, it's American Idol, kids.
Sam & Maddie: Not for us!
Call me Ishmael! Call me the Rainmaker! Call me...the proudest brother on Earth.
Evan
(alighting a golf cart) Note to self -- get a car, preferably one with doors.
Evan
(trying to communicate with a chef who only speaks Italian)
Divya: Tell her it won't take long.
Evan: (in very bad Italian) The clock, it will not last long.
Divya: Here's an idea -- let's have dinner, but absolutely no conversation.
Evan: Yeah, like we're married.
(toasting at the restaurant)
Hank: To Allison.
Divya: To Valentina.
Evan: And to two more checks in the mail.
(after Divya asks Evan to translate her words to Valentina)
Divya: Valentina may have TB.
Evan: I'm not getting a disease. Are you kidding me? Especially one I didn't have any fun catching.
Evan: Uh, have fun at Sunday brunch, by the way.
Hank: Aww, you're bitter about Hankapalooza.
Evan: No. No, I'm not bitter. Not at all, man. Hank-o-rama. Hankstock!
Hank: Stop doing bad things to my name.
(Hank runs into Jill in the street with gourmet coffee)
Hank: Is the, uh, hospital coffee really that bad?
Jill: Oh, officially speaking? No, it's delicious. But off the record...
Hank: You could remove nail polish with it.
Evan: 1986 called. It wants its shorts back.
Hank: (wearing short shorts) I missed laundry day this week. Cut me some slack.
Lucy: I have a plan for that boy, not as a dreamer, but as a mother.
Hank: I know you love your son. But you need to stop fixating on his destiny and start worrying about his life, because he can't be president if he's dead.
(staring at Ms. Newberg's breasts) Uh, you look fantastic, ma'am.
Evan
