Scrubs Season 4 Episode 21: "My Lips Are Sealed" Quotes
Hey, all my pictures were in there! Dead patient with fancy shirt, dead patient without fancy shirt, me in fancy shirt being yelled at by angry family!
Janitor
Jordan: Jack's fine, but the doctor said if the cut was four inches to the left and seven inches deeper, it could have potentially scratched his eye.
Dr. Cox: That was a close one.
Turk: Baby, from here on out I hide nothing from you. It's a clean start for us. Sports time!
J.D.'s narration: Because in the end, things work out for the best.
Carla: J.D. and I kissed.
J.D.'s narration: Or not.
Elliot: I have to tell you a story. When I was in the seventh grade, I was at a roller rink and I needed to go to the bathroom. So I just skated right on into a stall and I did my, uh, private business. And then when I went to pull up my pants, I started rolling towards the door, which as it turned out wasn't latched. Now, I don't know if you've had any experience roller skating with your underpants around your ankles--it's very difficult to stop. Unless of course, you know, you scream so loud that they turn off the music and everyone is looking at you. Anyway, that's how I wound up with the nickname "Roller Moler".
Gerst: I'm sorry?
Elliot: I have a mole on my ass. The cute kind! Not the hairy kind.
Turk: There you are. Hey Ted. So how'd it go last night?
J.D.: Whoa! What's with the fifth degree?
Turk: Don't you mean third degree?
J.D.: No, because this is two degrees worse. I can't breathe, it's like you're all over me. I'm trapped in a death coffin.
Elliot: I'm going to try to better myself, and unlike you, I'm going to follow through, Mr. "Sign up on the Hospital Bulletin Board for Private German Lessons and then Never Show Up"! Yeah, that's right. That was my flyer! I waited at that coffee shop for hours.
Dr. Kelso: I broke up with my German mistress. She smelled like sauerkraut.
Elliot: I'm so sorry.
Alright, fine. I'm a little rougher than you are, but guess what? The two of us have two distinctively different parenting styles. You're an overbearing hypercautious psychotic, and I'm... well, you know... fun? And I think if we could meet somewhere in the middle, I think Jack's going to be terrific! And besides, it's not like I ever put him in any real danger.
Dr. Cox
J.D.: Yes it is! It's a friend kiss and we will never talk about this to anyone ever!
Elliot: What's going on?
J.D.: Nothing.
Carla: J.D. and I kissed.
J.D.: Carla!
Elliot: You kissed? Like a friend kiss?
J.D.: Yes!
Carla: No!
J.D.: Carla! You're killing me!
Elliot: So, Mr. Gerst. Your situation doesn't seem to be reversing itself. I think we're going to need to schedule a procedure to relieve the... uh...
Dr. Kelso: Woodiness.
Mr. Gerst: My fiancee's only twenty-four and she said she wanted to do something special this morning. Turns out she just meant having breakfast with her family. The pills didn't really kick in until just about the moment I'm introduced to her ninety year old grandma. Sure enough, that little lady gives me the waist hug from her wheelchair.
Carla: Oh, it's so nice to get out. Oh, hey do you know who sings this song?
J.D.: No, but I can tell you who doesn't sing it. Billy Joel, who brought us such hits as "Uptown Girl" and "Matter of Trust". And speaking of trust, do you know who's really trustworthy? Turk. I call him Turkey Turkey Turkey Turkey Trust Trust. A little nickname.
J.D.: You were late the last time.
Turk: Yeah, but I set the clock ahead an hour last night so I wouldn't be late.
J.D.: Yeah, but last week I set it back three hours so we could see what it felt like to live in Honolulu.
Turk: Yeah, but then I set the clock ahead five hours so I wouldn't feel like a skeeve for watching porn in the middle of the day.
J.D.: But then I set it back forty-three minutes to 8:08, turned the clock upside-down to see if it looked like the word Bob, which incidentally, it totally does-
Turk: That's true.
Dad: Look at my girl. Right back up on the monkey bars, even after she chipped her tooth there last week.
Dr. Cox: That's nothing. My kid's got a forehead full of stitches from leaping off the jungle gym.
