Scrubs

Scrubs Quotes (Page 2)

Season 9 Episode 11: "Our Dear Leaders"

Turk: Sir, do you just hang around waiting for conversations to weigh in on?
Dr. Kelso: Yeah, that and my judge shows get me through the day.
 • Rating: Unrated

Denise: Why you moping around like a tiny girl bitch?
Turk: Wow, can't you ever be like "hi," or even better, "what's up?"
Denise: Sure, what's up tiny girl bitch?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Cox: Do yourself a favor and pick a leadership style and stick to it, but please avoid aggressive shaming because its my bread and butter.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lucy: Trey, you haven't even seen crazy yet. You feeling froggy? Then leap son.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cole: It was awesome. Lucy beat the crap out of Trey. Best girl fight I've seen since I paid those two lady janitors to wrestle.
 • Rating: Unrated

Russel: Your last tot beckons me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: If I'm gonna be jealous of someone it's gonna be some dude who can breath underwater or Serena Williams. That ass is righteous.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Russel: Jambo doctors. That's Swahili for hello or good morning.
Turk: Oh is it really? I know what it means. I had a jambo juice this morning. A berry blast with echinacea boost. It was delicious. I'm going to live forever, you're gonna be dead. I'm gonna be alive! Alive!
Denise: Wow, sure you didn't get a fem boost in there? That was pretty catty.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Cox: I have a hospital full of incompetents hammering me with asinine questions every second of every day.
Todd: Uh Dr. Cox, your patient in three is septic. Antibiotics or vasopressors?
Dr. Cox: Antibiotics first.
Drew: That wasn't so dumb.
Dr. Cox: Wait for it...
Todd: Oh did you get my request for scrubs that hug a little closer to my wham bam?
Dr. Cox: Thank you Todd for being the example to a point you don't understand.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Somebody is parked in my spot!
Dr. Kelso: Boo hoo, it takes me eleven minutes to pee.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucy: Drew, you're our leader, let's get this going.
Drew: Get what going? I rarely listen to you people.
Cole: Seriously Big D, if I fail out of here I have to go to med school in the Caribbean. Dude, I don't speak Caribbesian, so tell us what to do!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Turk: Where's my pastry?
Denise: Too sugary.
Turk: Nothing's too sugary woman
Denise: Tell that to your diabetes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Cox: How darn good is it to me right now? "Just this side of fabulous" is the answer.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 9 Episode 10: "Our True Lies"

Cole: This place is straight up Chuck Norris, tough as balls.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Dr. Cox [to Denise]: I'm gonna go ahead and give you a pass, because you have murder eyes.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cox: Here's what I'm gonna do if someone doesn't tell me who did. I'm gonna make you all retake the test. It's going to be you a new test, it's gonna be ten times as hard. It's not just gonna be on medicine, it's going to be on everything. Baseball, statistic, North Dakota high schools, the geography of a made of fantasy world I like to call Coxatopia. That's a magic land where where rivers run of scotch and hordes of pigs feed on the bones of cheating med students.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lucy: What's your seecret [to staying young]?
Cole: Shae butter, big floppy sun hats. Oh and I made a deal with a witch.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cox: You're not going anywhere.
Denise: Would it make a difference if I told you I had a personal issue that makes staying here really horrible for me?
Cox: It would make me quite a bit happier.
 • Rating: Unrated

Todd: Sorry dog, already called shotgun on the lesbian.
Turk: You can't call shotgun on a person.
Todd: Alright then, dibs.
Turk: Dammit, dibs works. Todd, I'll let you run point on this, but you gotta act cool.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Drew: Strawberry frosting, nice?
Denise: Hey you got fruit, dairy, enough sugar for a month. What else do you need?
Drew: A spoon?
Denise: Use your fingers, Queen Elizabeth.
 • Rating: Unrated

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