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Lucy: They say that by the end of yoru first semester of med school, it's obvious what kind of doctor you'll become.
Cox: Him?
Turk: Who? Trang?
Cox: Small hands, great with the ladies? OB/GYN.
Turk: More like a shopping mall pretzel vendor.

Cox: About as ridiculous as your five o'clock shadow. There's times I'm doing rounds and I feel like I'm teaching Yasser Arafat.
Denise: Really? I see a slightly gayer George Michael.
Cox: Oh, I so see that.
Drew: Could you please be more alike?

Denise: What's going on? You texted that someone was coding in here.
Dr. Cox: You texted me, "come and show me your boobs."
Drew: I may have switched those texts, which does raise the question, why did you come, Dr. Cox?

Cole [impersonating Lucy]: I think horses should go into space.
Lucy: I never said that. Why would I want fewer horses on Earth? That's crazy.

Thanks again Turkleton for giving me the lift. Hitching rides with the students was not working out. The constant stops at keg parties and strip clubs. They just weren't into them. Hey, nobody hustles Kelso while in the champagne room. That is my house.

Kelso

Set my DVR to record The Big Bang Theory. The whole world is watching this thing and I need to know why.

Cox

You have no idea how many times I've been out late and had to pass on my seventh drink. No more Mr. Responsible.

Kelso

Lucy, it's not cancer cancer. That kind of cancer is for uglies and people who put laptops on their balls.

Cole

Check it, I put orange soda in my IV bag, I'm like a hamster yo.

Cole

That's exactly what Trang needed. Driving back and forth in the parking lot, reinforcing every stereotype of Asian drivers.

Denise

Dr. Cox: Hey talking man baby, come here. I am parked in the ten minute parking zone.
Trang: You want me to move your car?
Dr. Cox: No, I love the space. What I want you to do is pull out of and then back into the space every ten minutes. If you get bored, here's a deck of cards and a ball.

J.D.: You do the Zoom Zoom?
Kim: Of course. I invented the Zoom Zoom.
J.D.'s Narration: Liar!

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 4008 in total

Scrubs Quotes

J.D.: My man Turk, is getting it daily and nightly and ever so rightly! Ah! What up, dogg!
J.D.'s narration: Once every 4.2 seconds a man says something stupid that a woman hears and punishes him for... luckily, this wasn't one of those times.
Carla: What did you just say?
J.D.: "What up...dogg?"

And there it was, the moment where pity was turning into genuine affection - classic Dorian.

J.D.