Carla: It is ok, don't get up. I got it!
Carla: It's only your child.
And there it was, the moment where pity was turning into genuine affection - classic Dorian.J.D.
Carla: Huh? Ya like that?
Todd: I felt it move.
Carla: Todd, you're touching your crotch.
Todd: I know, and I'm loving it.
Dr. Cox: Please forgive me, but since I had a vasectomy last year, nay two vasectomies, I feel... I feel I just have to ask. Did you cheat on me?
Jordan: No. And you know me; I always tell.
Dr. Cox: Ah that's true.
J.D.: You do the Zoom Zoom?
Kim: Of course. I invented the Zoom Zoom.
J.D.'s Narration: Liar!
I pooped in my bed so I put it on the TV.Jack
I hate cleaning up after those messy old queens. Oooh, appletini, when did they start drinking straight guy drinks?J.D.'s Narration
Elliot: Tell me every detail about the first date.
Kim: We went horseback riding on the beach.
Elliot: Ah yes, I have been on that date.
Kim: Oh really?
J.D.: What? I had a coupon.
J.D.: Two and a half weeks is too long to wait for a third date.
Kim: I'm pregnant.
J.D.: What now?
Carla: Look, I feel like I can give you a list of things that are sucky about being pregnant. For starters, I am now horny as I have ever been and my husband is repulsed by me.
Turk: Listen, if you really need it that badly, I will suck it up and shut my eyes so tight and then do you.
Carla: Thank you for the sacrifice.
Turk: It's because I love you.
(On the phone) No mom! Playpen and baby cage is not like "toe-may-toe toe-mah-toe."Janitor
J.D.: I have to get ready man. I want my date with Kim to be perfect. What do you think about a romantic horseback ride on the beach?
Turk: Ooh, like you and I did for your birthday.
J.D.: Yeah but except this time with two horses.