Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
Dr. Cox: Listen to me carefully, I know all about what it's like to be a teenage girl, wah wah wah. Course, I never had to try to convince my mother that I sure would have liked a navel ring.
Elliot: Oh, well, we were all going to Jamaica and my friend Susan...
You know Lindsay when I was 15 I cut my own bangs... Oh that's right, Percival; it's a high-school hair story. Anyway, Judy Keenan told me that she would also cut her hair off; it was like a suicide-pact, only with bangs. I cut off my hair and, of course, she backed out. But even though my bangs looked horrible, I kept them that way. Mostly because those stupid bangs were the only thing in my life that I felt I had control over, you know?
Elliot
Okay, how about this one? Three blue-jays fly into a bar and they say, "we just want to wet out beaks". Ha, ha, ha... no?
Janitor
Dr. Kelso: You know I could look at the demented crayon scratchings of a madman all day, but I got a hospital to run. Did you wax over there yet?
Janitor: No sir... I'll get a new uniform or I'll wax everything in your WORLD!
J.D.: But hey, thanks for taking the hit on this one.
Carla: Me? Na-a na-a, you're his best friend, all you have to do is say "I'm sorry", high-five him & go "DAAAAHHHHH!"
J.D.: Oh, but all you have to do is have sex with him & he'll forgive you. If I have sex with him he'll probably end up madder.
I got to think about relationships, about how people fall in love...have kids...grow old together...and say good bye...and then for some reason I thought about the circus...but then I was back on relationships...
J.D.'s narration
J.D.: Can I get up, my butt is asleep.
Turk: NO!
Carla: Turk, you know how I was so upset because you started calling your ex-girlfriend? I just couldn't understand how a married person could slip up like that, now I do. I'm so sorry.
J.D.: Me too buddy.
Turk: Guys, as insane as this may sound I'm actually gonna be OK with this. Just do me a favor, no more apologies and no more explanations and for the love of God, honey, no more girl-on-girl kissing demonstrations.
Cut to Cafeteria
Todd: Something horrible has happened.
Dr. Cox: I'm hearing the hate but I'm not seeing the hate. You... Oh my God! Did you Botox you face into an expressionless mask?
Jordan: Pedro called me ma'am.
Look here, I was thinking maybe, maybe you'd rather just stay in tonight. You know have some pizza watch, watch some movies, what do you say?... Are you trying to smile?
Dr. Cox
Elliot: With all due respect Dr. Cox, maybe I should talk to her.
Dr. Cox: With no due respect whatsoever... why?
Elliot: She's a teenager girl, that's a confusing time. Your breasts are growing... not always symmetrically. Uh... you like boys, maybe one gives you a ride home, you think maybe something's going to happen but it doesn't, and that just makes it official that you're a lopsided freak! Happy ending though. Lefty caught up in college.
Dr. Cox: Barbie! I have a finite amount of brain space, and your inspiring story of the little breast who couldn't just pushed out my memory of the 1980 Olympic hockey team's victory at Lake Placid. Miracle on ice: gone.
Elliot: Ah! Well, if it isn't the happy couple! And Turk's here too.
(Silence)
Elliot: Oookay, are we not laughing about this yet?
J.D.: Don't worry, this'll all be fine. You know Turk, I mean, whomever he blames will get the silent treatment for a couple of days, then he'll make snarky comments for a few months and then, sooner or later, he'll be laughing about the whole thing. It's just like the time I slept with his family's cleaning lady.
Carla: You slept with Tuni?
J.D.: I was staying in their guest-room & she was buffing the nightstand and she just kept on buffing.
