Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
I got three words for you; sucks to be, adding a fourth, you!
J.D.
J.D.: But hey, thanks for taking the hit on this one.
Carla: Me? Na-a na-a, you're his best friend, all you have to do is say "I'm sorry", high-five him & go "DAAAAHHHHH!"
J.D.: Oh, but all you have to do is have sex with him & he'll forgive you. If I have sex with him he'll probably end up madder.
Do you have any idea what events would unfold if Jordan actually were to see that picture? It's a heart-wrenching tale of woe involving Jordan's second cousin who plays for the New England Patriots and me having the Superbowl ring removed from my oesophagus.
Dr. Cox
Heh, Photoshop, you can do anything. (Holds up a photo) Here I have you wearing a ducks bill. Get it? Because you're a quack! Get it? Classic comedy my friend.
Janitor
Jordan: Jack's fine, but the doctor said if the cut was four inches to the left and seven inches deeper, it could have potentially scratched his eye.
Dr. Cox: That was a close one.
Hey, all my pictures were in there! Dead patient with fancy shirt, dead patient without fancy shirt, me in fancy shirt being yelled at by angry family!
Janitor
Turk: That was a thick bush.
J.D.: Oh really Turk? Was that a thick bush? Because there's berries in my ass!
Carla: Oh, it's so nice to get out. Oh, hey do you know who sings this song?
J.D.: No, but I can tell you who doesn't sing it. Billy Joel, who brought us such hits as "Uptown Girl" and "Matter of Trust". And speaking of trust, do you know who's really trustworthy? Turk. I call him Turkey Turkey Turkey Turkey Trust Trust. A little nickname.
Dr. Cox: Just a quick question. Why is it an accident, when he's with you, but when Jack gets hurt on my time, it's because I'm not careful enough?
Jordan: Because, I...
Dr. Cox: Oh dear God, you're speechless. I won! I won an argument! Jack, it's unprecedented. We'll be at the playground drinking beer. Oh God, we love beer!
Elliot: Poor Mr. Gerst. I wonder what that's like, to have an erection for nine hours.
Todd: Ask me in twenty minutes.
Elliot: So, Mr. Gerst. Your situation doesn't seem to be reversing itself. I think we're going to need to schedule a procedure to relieve the... uh...
Dr. Kelso: Woodiness.
Mr. Gerst: My fiancee's only twenty-four and she said she wanted to do something special this morning. Turns out she just meant having breakfast with her family. The pills didn't really kick in until just about the moment I'm introduced to her ninety year old grandma. Sure enough, that little lady gives me the waist hug from her wheelchair.
Alright, fine. I'm a little rougher than you are, but guess what? The two of us have two distinctively different parenting styles. You're an overbearing hypercautious psychotic, and I'm... well, you know... fun? And I think if we could meet somewhere in the middle, I think Jack's going to be terrific! And besides, it's not like I ever put him in any real danger.
Dr. Cox
