Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
J.D.'s Narration: Last summer, Turk and I were forced to choose between helping to stem a hepatitis C outbreak in the inner city or going to bartending school. I've always felt we did the right thing. Especially since I knew Turk had to blow off some steam before his big meeting with Carla tomorrow.
J.D.: Alright everybody! We're your guest bartenders - we'll be here all night!
Dr. Kelso: Hello Miss Goldman! I'm your doctor.
Ms. Goldman: Don't you mean my doctor's great, great, great, great grandfather? You're old!
Dr. Kelso: Yeah, I got that.
Turk: Dude, it's not your fault. Don't get me wrong, hanging with you these last coupla days has been niiice!
J.D.: Nice? It was intoxicating! You were hanging with the J. Dizzle! I'm sure it felt like some sort of crazy dream!
Turk: I know, cause with the J. Dizzle, everything's hassle free!
J.D.: Yeah, like some sort of crazy, hassle-free dream!
Turk: Okay, stop!
Elliot: Aw, Carla, you can totally talk to people once they're gone. I used to talk to our maid Consuela all the time!
Carla: When did she die?
Elliot: When I was eleven. At least, that's what my dad told me. I mean, I found out after college that he actually had her deported for putting knives in the fork drawer.
Carla: You know Elliot, you're a lot more normal than you should be.
Dr. Kelso: AGH! I don't know how she jammed this. Can you open that door?
Janitor's Narration: Okay, you made it up here without passing out or vomiting, now just calmly and eloquently explain that you can't open the door right now and he'll be on his way.
Janitor: Hlrlrrrrrrrrrrrr
Janitor's Narration: Well done!
Carla: I just know I really could've used you around this week! I miss you.
Turk: Can you tell her I miss her too? You know what, never mind. Because she wouldn't believe you.
Laverne: Dr. Kelso! I didn't recognize you in scrubs.
Dr. Kelso: That's okay Laverne, I didn't recognize you without your mini TV and your feet up.
Dr. Cox: I will tell you one thing, though. If you even want to have an outside chance of reaching someone nowadays... you damn sure better speak from your heart.
Dr. Kelso: Thank you, Perry.
Dr. Cox: Blow it out your ass, Bob.
Dr. Kelso: Every mother wanted me to marry their daughter cause I was a doctor. And I used that to sleep with all those mothers. That's what "house call" used to mean.
Dr. Cox: Those were the good old, incredibly disturbing, days, Bob.
I spoke to the groundskeeper! He'll come over as soon as he finishes burying Paul Newman!... Different Paul Newman, I asked.
Carla
I want to Bob, I really do. But, my first patient today was a snot-nosed little punk who wouldn't let me give him a rectal exam unless I said pretty please first, and I'm just not big on begging strangers to stick my hand up their butt. Not even in my private time.
Dr. Cox
J.D.'s Narration: You never know who you're gonna find in the cafeteria at five am. It could be the husband who asked his wife after thirty-six hours of labor if the screaming was really necessary. Or the intern whose been on call so many nights in a row she's actually hallucinating...
Intern: Hi I'd like two tickets to Million Dollar Baby.
