Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
Jordan: Hi.
Dr. Cox: Hello there.
Jordan: What's with all the band-aids?
Dr. Cox: Oh, Jack was just getting nutty, having some fun. See, I even let him put one on me.
Jordan: Really? (She leans down and takes one of the band-aids off, revealing the stitches) Are those stitches?!
Dr. Cox: What are the odds you'd pick that one?
J.D.: Hey! Wanna grab a beer?
Carla: If you lose the hat.
Turk: Dude, she's got this whole trust issue with me.
J.D.: Just tell her she can trust you.
Turk: I did. But apparently if I'm the one she didn't know she could trust, how's she supposed to trust she can trust me telling her she can trust me?
J.D.: My head hurts.
Turk: Yeah, mine did too.
Turk: That's why I need you to go in.
J.D.: No way, dude. It's never smart to get in the middle of someone else's relationship.
Turk: I'll let you wear my top hat.
J.D.: This is nice. The three of us sitting together again like the Three Musketeers.
Carla: Yeah! And I need you guys to scrape your plates before you put them in the dishwasher!
Turk: She's back! My baby's back!
Elliot: Oh, get this. He doesn't even have erectile dysfunction. I mean, why would you take those drugs if you didn't need them?
Dr. Cox: What's this? Why, it's a dummy-gram. And it's addressed to you, Barbie. Let's read it and find out what's in there. "You are disturbingly naive. Stop. Almost fifty percent of ED drugs are taken by recreational users. Stop."
Elliot: That can't be true.
Dr. Cox: Everyone. Would you go ahead and close your eyes for a second? Great. Now, would all the men in the room who've tried Mr. Happy pills go ahead and grab your fork and bang your glass.
(The cafeteria is filled with the sound of banging)
Dr. Cox: Thank you!
(The banging stops, except for one lone man)
Elliot: Ted! Everyone stopped.
Ted: Oh. Dammit!
Wow, that was a moist kiss. Wish I was wearing an apron.
J.D.
Dr. Kelso: There are no magical fixes. It's all up to you. So get up off your keester, get out of here and go start doing the work.
Ms. Goldman: What if it's too hard?
Turk: Yeah. What if it's too hard?
Dr. Kelso: Turkelton, I have no idea why you're chiming in, but I'll say this to both of you. Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy.
Turk: I gotta go.
(Elliot is on the phone with J.D.)
Dr. Cox: Ask Betty why he's such a girly girl.
Elliot: Not now.
Dr. Cox: Do it now. Dow it now. Call her Betty.
Elliot: You're insane.
Dr. Cox: Betty. Betty. Betty. Betty. Betty. Betty. Betty. Betty.
Elliot: (To J.D.) Betty?
J.D.: Yeah?
Elliot: Oh my God, it worked!
Okay, here it goes. Ho ho this is so weird. I don't really know what to say. Sorry I haven't visited much, I've been kinda busy. ...That's not true. Why am I lying to a slab of granite?
Carla
Dermatologist: You called for a consult?
Dr. Cox: Mr. Warner... do you see what you've made me do? By once again choosing to spend all of your free time out on the surface of the sun until melanoma has developed, you have forced me to pull the attending dermatologist away from his bacne seminar and validate his most ridiculous of career choices.
J.D.: But the one thing I do know is when a woman wants her space, you give her her space! My sixth grade girlfriend taught me that...
Flashback
Young J.D.: No Libby. I won't leave you alone until you explain why you ignored me on the bus.
Libby kicks him in the crotch and walks away
Young J.D.: AHHHH!
End Flashback
J.D.: I hope she's dead.
