Scrubs Season 4 Quotes
Carla: Hey, Night School! Mr. Corman followed us home last night!
Turk: How'd you get my cell phone number?
Janitor: Ehh, once you got somebody's drivers license and a urine sample, you get just about anything. How do you flunk eighth grade gym?
Carla: You better stop messing with my husband.
Janitor: You-tell him to stop messing with my walls!
Carla: You did this?
Turk: Baby, you know you're my world.
Carla: I'm out.
Janitor: I flunked gym, too. Didn't like the shorts.
Mr. Corman: Your father's gonna be just fine. The place is top-notch! I practically live here!
Neena: Are you a doctor?
Mr. Corman: Massive hypochondriac. If you'll excuse me, I have to go harass a surgeon.
J.D.: Why are you doing this?
Neena: I love my dad. I'd do anything. But if it makes you feel any better, I think you're really sweet.
J.D.: How'm I supposed to believe that?
Neena: Well, you can't. I already lied to you once so the trust is broken, even though I'd never lie to you again.
J.D.: Really?
Neena: Who knows.
J.D.: How do I decide if we should do the procedure or not?
Elliot: How do I tell someone he shouldn't be a doctor?
Turk: How do I get my patient to stop stalking me?
Patient's Thoughts: How do I get these people to realize that just because I'm in a coma doesn't mean I can't hear them?... I'm hungry.
J.D.: Turk, the way I see it, you got two options: You can go hard-core with Mr. Corman - slap a restraining order on him and switch him to another doctor...
Turk: Guy's a pain in the ass, but I can't do that to him!
Elliot: Then you just have to re-establish your boundaries and wean him off the home visits. It's easy. 'Course, you'll definitely have to change your cell phone number.
Cut to...
Turk: Mr. Corman, I filed a restraining order.
Neena: Thank you. And I hope I didn't ruffle your feathers too much while I was here.
Dr. Cox: Sweetheart, I find it amusing that you think you're so much as a blip on my radar. Better go ahead and jot this down in your little lawyer notebook: Nothing you could possibly do could ever, hee-hever get to me.
You know, if you really wanna piss him off, we should follow him to his office and just have sex right in front of him! Ahhhh, that would never work, I couldn't perform. It's a mentor thing.
J.D.
J.D.'s Narration: As I stood there confused but enjoying Neena's very long kiss with just the right amount of tongue, I thought about how when you make tough decisions good things can happen. Like the confidence you can gain from finding your true calling.
Doug: Hey, Nelson. Got some of your handiwork down in the morgue today. Were you operating with a blindfold on or what?
J.D.: Okay, I'm confused, I thought you weren't interested in me.
Neena: Well maybe I just said that to make it easier for you. Or maybe I said it 'cause I knew you'd do what I wanted you to. I'm not sure.
Turk(on answering machine): Dude! Mr. Corman is suing me! And that ice princess is his attorney! When did he get a chance to meet her?! What am I gonna do? Call Turk as soon as you get this!
Neena: Are you coming in or what?
J.D.'s Narration: In the end, it's always best to rely on your principles to make decisions.
J.D.: Hell yeah!
Answering Machine: Message deleted.
Dr. Kelso: Perry, are you familiar with Sacred Heart's community service program?
Dr. Cox: Bobby, lately I've noticed you don't listen to a single word people say, so my reply to your question is I think you're the world's biggest jackass and I look forward to your death.
Dr. Kelso: Well, you must not be familiar with it because you're the only staff member not to have completed his 24-hour mandatory community service. Consider yourself suspended until you do! Oh, and I'm never dying.
Denise: Hey hun, before you hop in there, could you do me a little favoronie and check the windshield wiper. I think I got something caught up there.
Dr. Cox: No problem. I got it.
Denise: (Turns on ambulance siren) Hahaha! I always get the newbies with that one! Hahahahaha got you! You know it!
Dr. Cox: When they strap me in please let them know the murder was just.
