Scrubs Season 5 Quotes
I know I agreed to have a baby, but you were offering sex at the time - I would have agreed to anything.
Turk
Turk: ...you should have just let her fork me!
Elliot: I think that's how you got into trouble in the first place. Whazzzup!
Todd: Euphemism-Five!
Elliot: His vocabulary has gotten so much better!
Elliot: Guys can't fake it!
Turk: Really?! Does this sound familar? Oh, oh, baby, we're going all night, NO WAIT DON'T MOVE...sorry.
Elliot: Way...too...familar.
Dr. Kelso: Perry: your lips, my ass.. they should meet.
J.D.: Hey, guys! Follow me. Listen, if you're having trouble finding a vein for an IV, please don't page me. If you're desperate, we're lucky - this is a city hospital, there are plenty of heroin addicts who are quite adept at this. Did you find a vein, there, Reverend Mayhem?
Reverend Mayhem: No problem.
Dr. Cox: This is my new imaginary warning light. Whenever it starts blinking, a situation has ten seconds to resolve itself before I flash white with rage and kill someone.
One, two, three, four..
(J.D. runs away and returns with his shirt around his head)
Dr. Cox: ..seven, eight, nine, and ten.
J.D.: I had a little trouble getting my Baby Gap tee-shirt off.
Dr. Cox: It'll happen.
Janitor: How depressing is it being you? Would you equate it to being a life-long Cubs fan, or being born without lips?
J.D.: Born without lips.
Janitor: I know a guy. His house just burned down.
J.D.: How sad.
Janitor: Well, he was smoking in bed. He shouldn't smoke... 'cause he looks ridiculous. "I have a snake face!"
J.D.: The Turks are sneaky.
Turk and Carla: WHAT?
J.D.: Not you guys, I think Omar stole my pudding.
J.D.: Keith! Pudding!
(Keith throws his pudding to J.D.)
J.D.: I love interns.
Carla: Here you go, baby. I know you like foreplay, but I only have five minutes, so I made you a sandwich.
Turk: That's the sexiest thing I've ever seen.
Carla: Over here, Turk.
Turk: My bad, baby.
Dr. Cox: Lindsay, by you reaching the level of attending physician, you have somehow managed to become a member of a club that I belong to. Obviously there was no vote. Because if there had been, you would still hear the sound of my voice screaming, "Nay, nay, oh, dear God, one thousand times nay!" That being said, it's my obligation to let you in on the organization's one and only bylaw: We're men.
Ow! Look, no harm done. Here are your driving glasses... here's your driving scarf... and here are your driving gloves... Fine... here's your driving sock.
J.D.
J.D.: Good morning, colleagues!
Dr. Cox: Oh, absolutely not.
J.D.: Ohh, what, Tall, Dark and Scary?
