Seinfeld

Seinfeld "The Ex-Girlfriend" Quotes

Marlene: I can't be with someone if I don't respect what they do.
Jerry: You're a cashier!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: I had nothing to do with any of this! I met all her friends, I didn't want to meet them. I kept trying to avoid it, I knew it would only get me in deeper, but they were everywhere! They kept popping up, all over the place. "This is Nancy, this is Susan, this is Amy.. This is my cusin.. this is my bruther.. this is my father..." It's like I'm in quicksand!
 • Rating: Unrated

Nurse: Mr. Costanza, the doctor will see you now.
George: (sarcastically) Yeah doctor
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Believe me. Boy-boy-girl? It doesn't look good.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: You know, when you read Moby Dick the second time Ahab and the whale become good friends.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I don't return fruit. Fruit's a gamble. I know that going in.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: It was like I was making a prison break. You know and I'm I'm heading for the wall and I trip and I twist my ankle and they throw that light on you. So, somehow I get through the crying and I keep running. Then the cursing started. She's firing at me from the guard towers. (Mocks a rifle cocking) Son-of-a-bang son-of-a-boom! I get to the top of the wall -- the front door. I open it up, I'm one-foot away, I take one last look around the penitentiary, and I jumped.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Look, do I have to break up with her in person? Can't I do it over the phone? I have no stomach for these things.
Jerry: You should just do it like a band-aid: one motion, right off!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: A relationship is an organism. You created this thing and then you starved it, so it turned against you. Same thing happened to the Blob.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Jerry: I only eat cantaloupe at certain times.
 • Rating: Unrated

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