Seinfeld

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes

Season 3 Episode 23: "The Keys"

Jerry: I heard something...
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Up here, I'm already gone.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Well, what do they look like?
Jerry: Like keys, George. They look like keys. They look exactly like keys... What do they look like...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elaine: I gotta get some new friends.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Do you ever yearn?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: You scared me!
Kramer: It's just me.
Jerry: That's enough!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kramer: Do you ever yearn?
George: Yearn? Do I yearn?
Kramer: I yearn.
George: You yearn?
Kramer: Oh, yes. Yes, I yearn. Often I sit...and yearn. Have you yearned?
George: Well not recently. I craved.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Newman refuses to tell Jerry and George where Kramer is)
Jerry: (to Newman) Now, you better tell me where Kramer is, or are we gonna have to do this the hard way?
(Hits the wall with his fist)
Newman: Help! Help!
Jerry: Where's Kramer?
Newman: Help!
(Elaine enters)
Elaine: What's going on?
(Newman hides behind Elaine)
Newman: They're gonna beat me up!
George: No we're not.
Jerry: We're trying to find out what happened to Kramer.
Newman: You wanna know what happened to Kramer? I'll tell you what happened to Kramer. He was ticked off. About they keys. Yeah, that's right - about the keys. Thought he got a bad rap.
Jerry: Bad rap?
Newman: Yeah, from you.
Jerry: Me?
Newman: You heard me. So he packed it up and split for the coast. La-La Land. LA.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: (disgusted) Look at you.
George: Aw, Kramer, don't start.
Kramer: You're wasting you're life.
George: I am not! What you call wasting, I call living! I'm living my life.
Kramer: Okay, like what? No, tell me! Do you have a job?
George: No.
Kramer: You got money?
George: No.
Kramer: Do you have a woman?
George: No.
Kramer: Do you have any prospects?
George: No.
Kramer: Do you have any action at all?
George: No.
Kramer: Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?
George: I like to get the Daily News.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Kramer: I was clinging to those keys, man, like a branch on the banks of a raging river, and now I have let go and I'm free to go with the current, to float, and I thank you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Having the keys to Jerry's apartment - that kept me in a fantasy world. Every time I went over to his house it was like a vacation: better food, better view, better TV, cleaner, oh, much cleaner. That became my reality. I ignored the squalor in my own life because I'm looking at life, you see, through Jerry's eyes. I was living in the twilight, living in the shadows, living in the darkness like you.
George: Me?!
Kramer: Oh, I can barely see you, George.
George: Stop it Kramer, you're freakin' me out.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Punk Dude: Hey Kramer, have you ever killed a man?!
Kramer: What do you think Junior? You think these hands - they've been soaking in Ivory Liquid?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 22: "The Parking Space"

Newman: Chaos--it reduces us to jungle law.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Because I'm like ice, buddy. When I don't like you, you've got problems.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Kibitzer: Who are you?
Sid: Who am I? I know who I am. Do you know who you are?
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I really think it looks good.
Elaine: Ten bucks, how can you go wrong?
George: All bald people look good in hats.
Elaine: You should have lived in the '20s and '30s, you know men wore hats all the time then.
George: What a bald paradise that must have been.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: You don't understand. A garage, I can't even pull in there. It's like going to a prostitute. Why should I pay, when if I apply myself, maybe I could get it for free?
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Ouch, my cuticle!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: You know, why didn't they ask me to go?
Jerry: I don't know. How am I supposed to know?
Kramer: What, they don't like me?
Jerry: I don't like you!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: What did you do to my car?!
George: I couldn't help it! Elaine moved the mirror. I got discombobulated.
Elaine: Oh, like you've ever been "bobulated."
 • Rating: Unrated

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