Carol: (on her baby) So, who do you think she looks like?
Kramer: Lyndon Johnson.

Hello? Oh, hi Elaine. What's going on? No, he just left. You broke up with him? Me too!

Jerry

Carrie: Thank you for a wonderful time, George.
George: Glad you enjoyed it.
Carrie: I haven't had a Big Mac in a long time.

Carrie: It's over buddy. Done. Finished. So long. Good bye. Adios. Sayonara.
George: Why?
Carrie: I've been thinkin' about it. You got no job. You got no prospects. You're like Biff Loman.
George: I went to the hardware store interview.
Carrie: You think I'm going to spend my life with somebody because he can get me a deal on a box of nails?

Elaine: I love Cajun cooking.
Keith: Really? You know my mom's Cajun.
Elaine: Oh, my father's drunk. *laughs*

Jerry: So I guess it's fair to say you've set different goals for yourself than say, Thomas Edison, Magellan, these types of people.
George: Magellan? You like Magellan?
Jerry: Oh, yeah. My favorite explorer. Around the world. Come on. Who do you like?
George: I like DeSoto.
Jerry: DeSoto? What did he do?
George: Discovered the Mississippi.
Jerry: Oh, like they wouldn't have found that anyway.

Newman: Wow, it was McDowell.
Jerry: But why? Why McDowell?
Kramer: Well, maybe because we were sitting in the right field stands cursing at him in the bullpen all game.
Newman: He must have caught a glimpse of us when I poured that beer on his head.

Jerry: So, did you two, uh... have uh...
Elaine: What?!
Jerry: You know.
Elaine: Milk?
Jerry: No!
Elaine: Cookies?!

Jerry: That's what death is, really: it's the last big move. The hearse is like the van, the pallbearers are your close friends, the only ones you can ask to help you in a move like this, and the casket is that one perfect box you've been looking for your entire life. The only problem is, once you find it, you're in it.

Keith: Elaine, you don't know the first thing about first base.
Elaine: Ha, ha. Well, I know something about getting to first base. And I know you'll never be there.
Keith: The way I figure it I've already been there, and I plan on rounding second tonight at around eleven o'clock.
Elaine: Well, uh, I'd watch the third base coach if I were you 'cause I don't think he's waving you in.

(mimicking their friend) You gotta see the baby!

Jerry/Elaine

I gotta get some new friends.

Elaine
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 329 in total

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Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes

I think it moved.

George

You got butchered.

Kramer
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