Seinfeld

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes (Page 3)

Season 3 Episode 20: "The Good Samaritan"

Jerry: Oh... a matador... Uno Momento Por Favor.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elaine: Michael called me today, and he asked me where Robin was.
George: Yeah, okay.
Elaine: And I said I hadn't seen her.
George: What?!
Elaine: No, no George! You don't understand! She didn't tell me she was using me as an excuse! Okay?! But then I realized what was going on, and I said that she left a note. Um, but he didn't really buy that. And then, and then he did mention your name.
George: He mentioned my name?! What did he say?!
Elaine: He said he was going to sew your @$$ to your face.
 • Rating: Unrated

Robin: *sneeze*
George: *pauses* God bless you.
Robin: Thank you.
George: (motions to husband) I wasn't going to say anything, but then I could see that he wasn't going to open his mouth. *snorts*
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Oh, my God. I must be crazy. What have I done?
Robin: Oh no, what's wrong?
George: What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. I just committed adultery!
Robin: You didn't commit adultery, I did.
George: Oh, yeah.
Robin: If I didn't do it with you, I would have done it with someone else.
George: Well, I wouldn't want you to do that. You know there's a lot of
losers out there.
Robin: Maybe even someone who didn't say 'God bless you'.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I am speechless. Speechless! I have no speech.
*later*
Elaine: I am speechless! I am without speech.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kramer: (about hit-and-run drivers) You know they're mentally disturbed. They should be sent to Australia.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: If you want to make a person feel better after they sneeze, you shouldn't say 'God bless you.' You should say 'You're so good looking!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Michael to Elaine over the phone)
Michael: He's finished! I'm going to sew his ass to his face! I'm going to twist his neck so hard his lips will be his eyebrows! I'm going to break his joints, and reattach them!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 19: "The Limo"

Jerry: I may not look like a Murphy but I act like a Murphy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: She's a Nazi, George. A Nazi!
 • Rating: Unrated

George: (reading the speech he's been given) ". . . and so the Jews, through their Zionist occupied governments, use the black man to import drugs into our underprivileged, white, minority communities."
Jerry: You're not going to open with that, are you?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry:Nice lookin' Luger.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: There's always been something very strange about Jerry. Always so clean and organized.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: I know Jerry. He's not a Nazi. No. He's just neat.
 • Rating: Unrated

(George is giddy with excitement as he and Jerry are sitting in the back of O'Brien's limo)
George: This is incredible! This is one of the greatest things I've ever done in my life! I'm gonna call my mother.
Jerry: What for?
George: I dunno, I'm in a limo.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Look, let's just jump out of the car.
Jerry: We're going sixty miles an hour!
George: So, we jump and roll, you won't get hurt.
Jerry: What are you, Mannix?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Maybe he (the chauffer) knows O'Brien.
George: No, he doesn't know O'Brien, if he knew O'Brien, he wouldn't have a sign.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I just got here. My car broke down on the Belt Parkway.
Jerry: Oh, I can't believe-- why don't you get rid of that piece of junk?
George: One mile from the exit, it starts shaking, really violently shaking, like it's having a nervous breakdown, then it completely stopped dead.
Jerry: So, you have no car?
George: No.
Jerry: So, what good are you?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Excuse me, driver, why are we getting off this exit?
Chauffeur: To pick up the other members of your party.
George: Right. The other members of our party. (closes partition) The other members of our party? What other members of our party? I didn't even know we were in a party. Oh, I'm telling you, the jig is up.
Jerry: It was a bad jig to begin with. We never should've started this jig.
George: It was a good jig.
Jerry: It was a bad jig, a terrible, terrible jig. What are we gonna do now? They're gonna know you're not O'Brien.
George: There could be more than one O'Brien on a plane who ordered a limo.
Jerry: First of all, you don't look like any O'Brien, period.
George: Well, you should've been O'Brien!
Jerry: I don't even wanna be Murphy anymore! Do I still have to be Murphy?
George: Yes, you have to be Murphy!
Jerry: It makes no sense now, me being Murphy!
George: You're Murphy!
Jerry: I'm Seinfeld!
George: YOU'RE MURPHY!
 • Rating: Unrated

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