Fiona: He said if you don't stop drinking you're going to die, as in dead. You know, like no longer living? And soon.
Frank: When did you start to care?
Fiona: I'm not sure that I do. I've dreamt about your death; put money in a collection box and prayed for it; blew out my birthday candles, wished for; it if actually ever happened I'm not sure if I'd feel relief or guilt.

Fiona: Be the fabulous narcissist you are and do it for yourself.
Frank: What if I don't want to change?

Mickey: Don't.
Ian: Don't what?
Mickey: Just
Mandy: Hey, I got the nitrous. Meet you outside?
Mickey: The fuck do you want?
Mandy: Really, That's all you're going to say to him? You're a fucking pussy.

You look like a baby rabbit when you sleep.

Fiona [to Jimmy]

Your turf? What is this West Side Story?

Frank

You're getting careless. Don't.

Beto [to Jimmy]

It's about crazy, I think you were married to it once.

Lip

Whatever you do, do not let her bone you. That oxytocin stuff, it's like an adhesive.

Kev

I got sucked into your world. I bent to your rules. I just assumed that we'd eventually decide how to move together like normal couples do. But there never was a "we." What have I been doing? Cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry and living together in a goddamn slum.

Jimmy

People fuck up. That's life. Family is supposed to be forever. They're supposed to take care of you regardless what you do. That's the whole point, otherwise why bother?

Frank

Please don't be the guy that lies! Please don't be that guy.

Fiona

Abraham: Excuse me do you know where I'd be able to find Frank Gallagher?
Kev: Best bet, nearest jail or gutter.

Shameless Quotes

Lip: What exactly does hooked up mean?
Kevin: Last I checked penis goes into the vagina.

Surround sound bitching is the only thanks I get.

Frank