Shameless

Sundays 9:00 PM on Showtime
Shameless
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Karen: Is this about you sleeping with Jody?
Sheila: What? No! Yes! You know about that? Honey I'm so sorry I didn't mean to, it was an accident.
Karen: An accident? Where his penis just slipped into your vagina?

Alright you gotta get me out of this car, I'm getting too horned up.

Lip

Here's the thing Fiona, I wanna be with you but I'm not one of those kids you can boss around. I'm sorry but now I gotta go pick up my wife's boyfriend.

Steve

Also you never use toilet paper on your dick after you take a piss. Tap the end, let the drops fall off, flush.

Lip [to unborn son]

Little Hank's being raised by wolves.

Fiona

Ian: Mom's bipolar Debs.
Debbie: Like the North Pole and the South Pole?

Thank you for this food that we are about to eat, thank you for bringing my Monica back to me, and please make my brother clayton burn in all eternity when the time comes. Amen.

Frank [saying Grace]

Fuck Mother Nature she doesn't have to worry about her vagina getting all stretched out!

Karen

Sometimes it's not worth holding out. Life's too short, why not just give in?

Jody

You asked if I've managed before, yeah a house full of kids. Taught me how to smack with one hand while giving a pat on the back with the other.

Fiona

Nancy Grace, there's got to be a missing white girl somewhere!

Sheila

The best part of making a baby is that you get to have sex while doing it.

Kevin
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 105 in total

Shameless Season 2 Quotes

The man's in love with his own fabulous self, probably masturbates while he licks his reflection in the mirror.

Veronica

I got tasered for like a second and I crapped myself. There's no way you got tasered twice, fought off three cops and ran away.

Frank