Ain't you the queen of silver linings!

Fiona [to Veronica]

Lip chose to leave this family, does that sound familiar?


I made a list of the top 50 stupidest things and all 50 were when I was drunk.


How do you do that? The nice thing?

Grammy [to Sheila]

My testicles have never been my ally.


Lip: Go learn your state capitals.
Fiona: Go f*ck yourself.

He was on the bottom bucking like a horse who knows it's going to the glue factory.


Front door was locked so I came in the back. No pun intended.


Figure out that chick sitting on MY sofa wearing YOUR wedding ring and then we'll talk.

Fiona [to Steve]

I don't get it. Half of the world has penises, why do people get so upset about seeing them?


Steve: I love you.
Fiona: Don't.

I'm sick of living in your shadow.

Ian [to Lip]

Shameless Season 2 Quotes

The man's in love with his own fabulous self, probably masturbates while he licks his reflection in the mirror.


I got tasered for like a second and I crapped myself. There's no way you got tasered twice, fought off three cops and ran away.