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South-park

Is that something I'd want to do? Is the Pope Catholic and making the world safe for pedophiles?

Cartman

When a chick says we need to talk, you might as well start punching yourself in the balls, dude.

Cartman

And it will be like a taco inside taco within a Taco Bell that's inside a KFC that's within a mall that's inside your dream!

Doctor

Sea Man: Swallow, come.
Moses: Hehe, no way he just said that.

This is the way the world works, if you want want to fine some quality friends you have to wade through all the dicks fist.

Cartman

Revenge is a dish best served chili.

Scott Tenorman

Hindsight: what is your power?
Kenny (as Mysterion): I can't die. I've experienced death countless times. Sometimes, I see a bright light. Sometimes, I see Heaven or Hell. But eventually, no matter what, I wake up in my bed wearing my same old clothes. The wort part? No one even remembers me dying. I go to school the next day and everyone is just like "Oh, Hey Kenny," even if they had seen me get decapitated with their own eyes. You want to whine about Curses, Hindsight? You're talking to the wrong f**king cowboy.

Butterflies have no concern for such things. Now I'm gonna go find myself some butterfly poon.

Randy

All Coon friends report to base. I'm so seriously.

Cartman

Stan: Mom says to stop trying to give yourself cancer.
Randy: Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Stan, tell mom it's okay.

Will somebody put this retard out of his misery?

Cartman

When we asked Obama to stop illegal immigrants, we didn't mean to make America so shitty they wouldn't come anymore.

Border Patrol
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 1492 in total

South Park Quotes

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron

Mr. Garrison Sr.: Would you have sex with your son to save his life?
Man at bar 1: Oh, this is one of them scruples questions ain't it?
Man at bar 2: No, no I got a better one: Would you have sex with your motherto save your father's life?
Man at bar 1: You mean like if someone had a gun to your father's head and said if you don't have sex with her, I'll kill him?
Bartender: If a killer put a knife to my throat and said "have sex with your mother or I'm gonna kill your father while having sex with you, I would have sex with myself.

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