South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
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Is that something I'd want to do? Is the Pope Catholic and making the world safe for pedophiles?

Cartman

When a chick says we need to talk, you might as well start punching yourself in the balls, dude.

Cartman

And it will be like a taco inside taco within a Taco Bell that's inside a KFC that's within a mall that's inside your dream!

Doctor

Sea Man: Swallow, come.
Moses: Hehe, no way he just said that.

Revenge is a dish best served chili.

Scott Tenorman

This is the way the world works, if you want want to fine some quality friends you have to wade through all the dicks fist.

Cartman

Hindsight: what is your power?
Kenny (as Mysterion): I can't die. I've experienced death countless times. Sometimes, I see a bright light. Sometimes, I see Heaven or Hell. But eventually, no matter what, I wake up in my bed wearing my same old clothes. The wort part? No one even remembers me dying. I go to school the next day and everyone is just like "Oh, Hey Kenny," even if they had seen me get decapitated with their own eyes. You want to whine about Curses, Hindsight? You're talking to the wrong f**king cowboy.

Butterflies have no concern for such things. Now I'm gonna go find myself some butterfly poon.

Randy

All Coon friends report to base. I'm so seriously.

Cartman

Stan: Mom says to stop trying to give yourself cancer.
Randy: Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Stan, tell mom it's okay.

Will somebody put this retard out of his misery?

Cartman

When we asked Obama to stop illegal immigrants, we didn't mean to make America so shitty they wouldn't come anymore.

Border Patrol
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 1515 in total

South Park Quotes

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman