Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central

I'm gay! I'm gay as a gymnast on shore leave!

Mr. Garrison

Stan: This is it the end of innocence this is the loss of that playful youth that all are parents warned us about
Kyle: I just didn't think it come so soon.
Cartman: Yeah, only now do we realize how we took the 3rd grade for granted.
Kyle: Huh?
Cartman: Everything was great in 3rd grade and now that it's all over we're starting to see how special it was
Cartman: (starts singing) Remember how it used to be? In the 3rd grade we used to laugh and play and cherish each day, in the 3rd grade we learned wondrous things with a teacher so nice sat on marshmallow desks with teddy bear smiles the world all seem to make sense but that sense seemed slowly but, seemed to fade after 3rd grade. In 3rd grade we used to write with crayons we would make sparkly pictures with glitter and glue we had warm cookies and hearts full of love and it wasn't a care in the world for me or for you. There's not in this life that I wouldn't trade just to go back for 1 minute to 3rd grade.
(Clyde starts crying)

Cartman: Suck my balls.
Ms. Choksondik: Present them.
Cartman: What?
Ms. Choksondik: Present: Whip them out and I'll suck 'em.

Kyle: (After Timmy coming back from time) Dude! It looks like Timmy went all over time! He must have alot to tell us!
Timmy: Ih, Timmy.

(after Kenny dies) Who didn't see that coming?


We've had a new time machine built, this one out of a simple microwave oven and a duck.


Kyle: Look, you guys built a machine together that can bend time. If you just agree with him, you can build another one and usher in a whole new era of science.
Nerd: And live in a world of 72 original Star Trek's? I don't think so. I don't want to live in that world.

I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.


We need to stand up to this new teacher and insert ourselves.

Displaying quotes 1 - 9 of 15 in total