South Park Season 4 Episode 5: "Cartman Joins NAMBLA" Quotes

Do you like your back rubbed?

I did not want love from a young boy! I like men my own age. Ahh, I mean, I like women! What did I say? Oh, god. I love titties!

Mr. Garrison

Stan: We don't wana go to some stupid adult meeting any way!
Cartman: Well that's nice, cause you can't go!
Kyle: We don't wanna go!
Cartman: You CAN'T go!
Kyle: We don't WANNA go!
Cartman: No, you can't go!

Look, Kevin. I have here my best creation yet. A squirrel spliced with provolone cheese. Now we don't have to search in difference places for squirrels or provolone cheese.

Dr. Mephesto

Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya. Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya . I got into NAMBLA and you guys didn't. Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya.

Clown hat, curly hair, smiley face.

FBI Exec: Where are the children?
Dr. Mephesto: What children?
FBI Exec: This is NAMBLA, right?
Dr. Mephesto: Yes.
FBI Exec: The North American Man Boy Love Association?
Dr. Mephesto: What? No! We're the North American Marlon Brando look alikes!
FBI Exec 2: Aw crap, we got the wrong NAMBLA!
Mr. Garrison: Aw dammit, I'm in the wrong place!

Stan: Yeah, you know, we believe in equality for everybody and tolerance and all that gay stuff, but dude, (beep) you.
Kyle: Seriously.

Stan: Wow Kenny, your mom's pregnant, what are you going to do now?
Kenny: I don't know, but I gotta think of something.

Stan: This is boring.
Kyle: Yeah. (to the Head NAMBLA member) HEY, WHEN ARE WE GONNA GET INTO SOME ACTION, HUH?!
(All the NAMBLA members 'ooh')
Head NAMBLA member: Oh, goodness! What a gift from God!

Mr. Garrison: I'm telling you, Officer Barbrady, this is all a terrible mistake.
Barbrady: Well, the FBI says I have to keep you here, so that's what I'm gonna do, Mr. Complainypants.

Sorry, I'm not interested in being friends with midgets. Midgets piss me off.

South Park Season 4 Episode 5 Quotes

Cartman: Those perverts aren't going to rest until they have made love to one of us right? So somebody's just gonna have to go out there and take one for the team. And I think in all fairness it should be Butters.
Butters: Huh? Now why me?
Cartman: Are you a team player or not?
Butters: Well sure, I'm a team player I guess.
Cartman: Now Butters, there is no 'i' in team.
Butters: You mean to expect me to go out there and let all those horny old men have their way with my fragile person? Well just what team is this anyway?
Cartman: Just go Butters, we're running out of time.
Butters: Oh, alright then. (Butters leaves the room)
Cartman: (Laughs) He's such a dumbass.

Carol: Are you alright Stuart?
Stuart: Don't touch me. I've had my nuts broken, body poisoned and been made love to in the ass by three dozen forty year old men. I just wanna go home and take a hot bath.

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